Stretching Out

I noticed my first 2 stretch marks from this pregnancy yesterday. They aren't very big, and they are right next to each other, almost like one. I haven't been able to see them because they are on the underside of my belly, which, unless I am looking in a mirror, I can't see!

According to the Baby Center's article on stretch marks, there are certain factors that can increase your change of getting stretch marks. Genetics is one of those factors. I have heard that about cellulite too, so it doesn't surprise me that it is true for stretch marks also. My mom has a lot of stretch marks on her tummy from being pregnant with us, so its not too surprising that I would get them too. They also say that younger moms may get them more. I would consider myself a younger mom, so that is working against me too!

I am really not surprised that I have gotten them with Peanut, especially with how many I got with Pumpkin. Pumpkin's pregnancy wrecked havoc on my thighs. I am very self-conscious about wearing shorts because of the amount of stretch marks I have on my thighs. My butt took a stretching too (which was really not good considering it was larger to start with!), and my lower back. I didn't get them on my stomach though. It was like the skin just stretched from my back and sides to accommodate my belly. I have always counted my blessings for not getting stretch marks all over my stomach though. But now, I have them.

I am surprisingly OK with it. I have noticed that my previous stretch marks on my legs have been stretching a little more, or at least looking red-ish lately. And the stitches from my cancer scars have stretched out a little, which kind of looks odd! I think the reason I am feeling OK with it all though, is because of this picture:

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How can you feel ashamed of your stretch marks after reading that? This picture almost makes me want to get more... OK, not really, but I am not hating the ones that I have gotten! I will continue to drink lots of water and put on my lotion with coco butter and vitamin E, but I will not stress out over stretching out.

Did you get a lot of stretch marks? How do you feel about your stretch marks?

The Great Debate Part II

Daycare.

Catch up with Part I here.

So my next step was to contact daycares and see if they would take babies in cloth diapers. I figured most wouldn't, but I did need to check. Before I could do this though, I needed to figure out exactly what I was planning on doing with myself after Peanut arrived!

I am going to go back to school, if all works out with financial aid. The only thing that I am so hesitant on is working part-time (we really need the money), going to school, and having 2 kids, plus a husband, at home. Can I actually do it?! Some days I think yes. Other days, when I am in a sane state of mind, I think HELL NO!!!!! But the thing is, to make life better for my family, I am pretty sure I need to risk my sanity for a couple years and suck it up. Get a part-time job. Go to school. Take care of 3, I mean 2, kids and a husband. Keep house in order. That's not too much right?! Maybe not for a super mom, but what if I am not a super mom?! Anyways, that is what I have decided the plan is going to be.

So I was at friend K's house for her Christmas party last week, and I was talking to her about going back to school and having to find a daycare for Peanut. And guess what? She said she could watch her while I was at school!!!! SCORE!!!!! That means, Peanut will be with someone I trust, I won't have to pay an arm and a leg, and I can literally see K's house from my house, so the drive won't be bad at all! And, of course, the reason for this post.... I can cloth diaper because K will do it! I am blessed with the best friend!

I feel like I was able to skip this step of finding out if daycare will take a cloth bottom baby, but it just worked out really well! I think that if for some reason K can't watch Peanut, I will look more into a nanny. Because of the limited hours I would need someone to watch Peanut, a nanny would be more reasonable in terms of cost. And then they don't have a choice but to cloth diaper if I say so!

This part was easy, so easy, which makes me excited to move onto the next part: Buying cloth diapers. I am scared out of my mind about this. I still don't know where to start, or what to get, or anything! Plus, once I order, then I can't change my mind. I don't like not having an escape for "just in case"! But, I am excited about cloth diapering though, and I think I will love it, so now I need to buckle down and order!

Did you have a great friend that helped you out with your child(ren)? Do you have a nanny?

Also, in celebration of 30 wks, here is a belly shot. Its crappy, I know, but I am the only one that could take one right now other than Pumpkin, and I don't know if his would be much better :)

I need to clean my mirror, cuz whatever that is, its on the mirror, not my ass

The Countdown Is On!

We are now officially 30 wks! That means, only 10, yes TEN, more weeks to go. I cannot believe how soon it really is. We have so much to do to get ready too, that I am slightly stressed.

We still have nothing in or for the nursery, other than ideas and an old rocker/glider that needs some work. That is going to be my project next week. I would do it this week but my sister is in town all week visiting, so I am trying to spend as much time as possible with her. :)

Peanut was very active over Christmas, and my whole family, along with M's, got to feel her moving and kicking. It was so fun to watch everyone's expressions! Sometimes when she moves though, it really hurts. It almost feels like she is about to break out of my stomach or something. I love feeling her, but could do without the pain!

I woke up last night in a lot of pain too. My back and stomach muscles were all really tight. I could hardly move, and my back still hurts. My legs cramped some too, but they say that is normal. I can feel Peanut move down into my pelvis at times. She puts a lot of pressure down into my crotch, which is uncomfortable and makes me worry that she might try to make her grand entrance into the world a little to see. 10 weeks baby girl, it will go fast, so just be patient!

I hate to write such a boring post, and short one, but we are off to my parents' house again to see family. I love having them in town, but man, it sure is a lot of running back and forth! My poor house is feeling neglected, and dirty!

I'm a Liar

We had a dr appt today, and I lied to Dr K. I just couldn't handle telling her the truth. I told her I had only gained 2 lbs, putting me at 168, when really I had gained 4.

I don't think its that big of a deal, and I should have just sucked it up and told her, but I don't want to be gaining this much weight so fast and I didn't want her to say anything about it. I am way above her chart, and even above my chart! She wants me to just kind of stay around "this" weight from here on out, but I know don't think that will happen. I can see myself gaining another 10 pounds!

My chart/Source

How do I stop?! I wish I could just stay the weight I am, I would love that! But I know that Peanut is going to be growing, and she will weigh more, making my weight go up at least a little. Plus, its almost Christmas! There is a lot of good food to be eaten right now! And I don't know what to do in the way of working out... And really? Do I want to start at 29 wks pregnant?! I can't get my lazy butt of the couch regularly, let alone being pregnant!

Have you ever lied to your dr about your weight? Were you able to maintain your weight in the last 10 weeks?

The Great Debate Part I

Cloth vs disposable.

I will admit, I was one of those people who cringed at the thought of cloth diapers. Swishing the diapers in toilet water? You couldn't pay me enough money to touch toilet water (well, maybe a million dollars would do). Wiping poop out with my hand? No thanks. Storing stinky diapers in a pail *GAG* until I put them in the wash machine *another GAG*? There was no way I was going to hop on this extremely gross bandwagon.

But then people started talking to me. My mom told me about how the way disposable diapers are taken care of now is way different from what they used to be. My friend was so excited to get hers and told me how many different options there were in ways of diapers and having disposable liners. And my cousin wrote me a long email telling me all about the different kinds of diapers she got, what worked the best, and how easy it really is. So I started to think... it was at least worth looking into. And anyways, how cute is this picture?!

I love the idea of hanging little cloth diapers on a clothes line. Of course, I don't have a clothes line, or a field of red wild flowers, but still, I can dream/ Source

I didn't know where to start with my investigating though. And since I live in a small town in Montana, where we still ride horses into town (I joke!), there is no place that has cloth diapers. So all my searching has to be online. SCARY! The world wide web is great, don't get me wrong. It has TONS of information all over, but that is the problem. It has so much information that I was lost. REALLY lost. But I did find myself, looking at other cute pictures!

Who couldn't love this little butt?!/Source

I wasn't getting anywhere looking at butts, so I went to the best go to site for anything and everything baby, Hellobee. There have been many blogs on cloth diapers, and I also asked the community, and got lots of help there. With all the information I received, I was pretty sold on cloth diapers. The next hard part? Selling M on it. 

He reminds me of myself when I was young and naive about cloth diapers ;) As soon as the topic comes up, he says "no, that's gross". But when I start throwing out numbers (money), he seems to listen a little bit more.So I found some sites to back me up with the selling point of "cloth diapers save money!". I think the best site I have seen that breaks down the cost of cloth and disposable is here. Now, some of those numbers are big. A thousand dollars?! I don't have an extra thousand dollars laying around! But then look at disposables. TWICE as much. The thousand doesn't sound so bad in the long run. 

This site makes it look more affordable to get into to. Only a couple hundred dollars, even we could do that. But still, the savings is the same, a little more than a thousand dollars in the end. That is so much money! And with me being a SAHM, that is BIG. 

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But, M is still not convinced. Although he does like the numbers, he still is grossed out by the idea. I understand, it still gets me a little bit, but lately, thanks to Pumpkin's upset tummy, I think I could handle it. In the past week alone, I have had to clean poop off the floor 4+ times, wipe it out of underwear out 6+ times, and wash the "poopy" underwear just as many. My wash machine seems to handle it pretty well. My stomach is getting stronger, and my Swifter wet cleans great. I think I could handle it, and lets be realistic. How often would M have to change the diapers?

I am the one staying at home. I am the one that does the laundry. I am the one that always seems to end up changing the diapers even when we are together. I am the one that would have to deal with it. Therefore.... I think if I say its a go, then its a go! M can learn to deal :) So I am saying YES to cloth diapers!!!!! But then I had a hitch in my cloth diapering plan.....

I have decided to go back to school. Don't ask me what I am thinking, going back to school with 2 kids at home? Its something that I need to do for our family though. But anyways, this puts a hitch in my cloth diaper plans. While I'm at school, Peanut will have to go to daycare. Do daycares take kids in cloth diapers? 

I don't know. That is my next step in my cloth diaper journey. I am sold on them, but now I have to sell a daycare on them. Or maybe I could get someone to come to my home to watch Peanut and just MAKE them use the cloth diapers... (that means I don't have to wash poop out all day by myself!)

I also have to find out which ones I am going to go with and where the best place is to order them. Little details. 

I feel relieved to have decided on cloth diapers though. I just hope that it is something that I can actually pull off, and it works. Having made a decision feels great though, and I don't feel so bad now spending hours looking at adorable butt covers!

Honestly, how can you say no?!/Source

Where you like me and almost threw up at the thought of cloth diapers? Have you decided to go the cloth route? What was the selling point for you? What problems did you run into, if any? (See, I still need a lot of help!)

Nightmares

My pregnancy dreams have turned into nightmares. They are so vivid, I can recall them perfectly, even a week later. I would tell you about them, but I'm scared of what you would think about me! I swear I'm not messed up in the head! I will tell you though, a couple of them have had to do with death.

Lillies are a symbol of death, and at one time they were placed on the graves of children/ Source

According to the Baby Center, they say that your dreams "... reflect your excitement, fear, and apprehension...". I'm going to try to make myself feel better by saying that the reason death is apart of my dreams is because I am still scared of something going wrong and us losing Peanut.

I have tried to find out what it really means though, so I looked at the Baby Zone's pregnancy dream guide to find the true meaning. Of course though, I am the only pregnant lady dreaming about death. In fact, the only "D" dream they have listed is dolphins. Nope, no dreams about dolphins for me!

Since the baby websites were no help to me on figuring out what my twisted dreams were about, I looked elsewhere. I looked at Dream Moods, and found death (YAY! I may be the only pregnant person dreaming about it, but at least there are other regular people dreaming about it too!). This is the part that I took to relate to me:

"Alternatively, the dream indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life anymore. In particular, to dream about the death of your parents indicates that you are undergoing a significant change in your waking life. Your relationship with your parents has evolved into a new realm."

I am guessing that by my dreams involving death are signifying a change in my relationship with Peanut. No, Peanut is not going to die, but our relationship, my body being her home, is going "to die". She will be born and no longer be apart of me. I like that idea way better then the other things that have gone through my head! Makes me feel a little less crazy!

If you are having neat and funky dreams though, the Baby Center has a Dream Diary you can print and record your dreams. Now, I would never do this with my dreams unless I wanted a first class ticket to the loony bin, but it may be really cool for you!

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Have you had any odd dreams while being pregnant? Have you had dreams of death, or I am the only one?

GTT

Glucose Tolerance Test. I had mine does this past week, Tuesday actually (sorry, its been a busy week with our new Mom's Club and M's dad's birthday). It was horrible, not going to lie!

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When I had this test done while pregnant with Pumpkin, I didn't mind it at all. I thought the orange drink wasn't too bad, just like an orange soda, and then I went to the office, got poked (I am deadly afraid of needles, but the nurse was good), and that was it. Not so much this time.

The drink made me sick. It was like syrup this time. I could hardly choke it down. *GAG* And, while I was forcing myself to swallow, I started to peel off the label my Dr put on the bottle and read the bottle's original label. One of the first directions is to have the patient "remain calm"! WTF?! Do people get all out of control while drinking this stuff?! I am so bummed I didn't get a picture of it, but for some reason, M had the urge to throw it away. He doesn't throw his own crap away, so why he did this bottle, I have no idea.

Anyways, I choked down the nasty orange syrup crap, and headed to the Dr, feeling like I was going to hurl at any minute. I told the nurse what time I drank the stuff, and then had my appt with Dr K. When we were done, it was time for the dreaded blood draw (which was actually just a little over an hour since I drank the crap, which still bothers me a little).

Like I said, I am deathly afraid of needles. I told the nurse this, and she said that she would draw from my hand since she is a NICU nurse, and that it seems to be the easiest. The thought of her having to stick babies calmed me some, she must be good... Boy was I wrong!

She jammed the needle into my hand, I swear I felt the skin and vein break open. Then she drew 3 vials of blood, extremely slowly, and when she was ready to pull the needle out, she put her thumb on the needle and pushed it down, then proceeded to pull the needle out from under her finger, while still pushing on it! I almost screamed with she first stuck me, and then almost cried as she pulled the needle out. And to top it off, my hand was sore for 2 days after. It felt like she broke the needle off in my vein. It was horrible.

The good thing was that everything came back good! Even my iron levels were good, which really surprised me since I am borderline anemic as it is, and I was anemic with Pumpkin. Plus, I have been bruising really easily lately, and the bruises don't leave very fast. But, according to my blood, I'm all good! Its nice to know that I checked out good and don't have to have any extra worries right now.

Have you had your GTT? How were your results? Did your nurse totally suck at drawing your blood?!

The Kicker

My family is huge into football. Papa has been a Green Bay Packer fan since he was 6, so we were raised loving them too. They haven't always done as great as they are doing this year. We have had many years of upsets and heartbreak. So, it was really great watching them win the Super Bowl last year.

Papa popped a bottle of champagne

M and Pumpkin

Papa and me

And they are kicking ass this year! Yesterday's game was a really close one though, almost putting me into early labor. And of course, it came down to the kicker. Had he not missed his field goal earlier in the game, it wouldn't have been so close. It was though, and it came down to him kicking another field goal. If he missed it, then HE would have made the game go into overtime. If he made it though, then HE won the game for us. (He made it!!!!!!!)

This is something that has always baffled me. Why does it come down to the kicker? The whole team played the whole game, making and not making plays, but yet it's always the kicker that gets the pressure of the game. I am feeling like the kicker right now.

M and I "played the game" and got pregnant, and we are still playing the game through this pregnancy, and will continue into parenting. But I am feeling like the kicker, if I fail at my job, then I will be the reason we lose the "game".

OK, that is really confusing! Let me try again! I have been thinking about breastfeeding a lot lately. I am really worried that I won't get a supply in, and won't be able to do my job as a mother in providing nutrition for Peanut. While the team (M and me) played the game together, it comes down to me, the kicker, to win it or lose it. I know that not being able to breastfeed isn't the end of it all, but it feels like a REALLY big thing. If I can't do it, then I feel like I fail and lose at being a mom.

I really sympathize for the kicker on football teams. This pressure is killing me, and I'm afraid that pressure makes it even harder to do the job I am in position for. No one would judge if a linebacker (or M) couldn't make the field goal, but if the kicker (or me) can't, then its a big deal.

Hopefully I can pull through like the Packer's kicker did in yesterday's game. If not, I have to remember it doesn't mean the end of the season. There are lots of games and situations that I will have to, and will, "make the kick".

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Do you ever feel like all the pressure comes down on you as a mother? Do you feel like you are the kicker? Did you actually follow and understand this post?!

The Inevitable

Weight gain.

This is actually a pretty tough subject for me. It seems that throughout my whole life I have never been comfortable with my weight. So, I'm going to bear all, despite how hard it is to post some of these numbers, and break it down for you. Keep in mind I am 5'5".... OK, I lie. I am only 5'4"... 3". But first, my favorite comic ever. So true...

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When I was in high school, I was always bigger then all my friends. How big? A whopping 118 lbs. That is like my left leg now. I really struggled with this though, and I had some eating issues. The summer before my senior year, I didn't eat a thing. I got down to 108 lbs, and was actually happy about that. Of course, once I did start eating again, I gained it all back! I leveled out again at 118 lbs, and was so upset once again. This was me the day I graduated high school:

See that? My legs didn't even touch and I thought I was fat! And I only have ONE chin in this picture, not the 2 that I have come to accept. But, during high school, all my friends were around 110 lbs, and probably about an inch or so taller then me. I had a "pooch" that I could never get rid of. I would take back that pooch any day now...

I went to college and gained some weight. Got up to 127 lbs. I cried. I thought I was enormous, and just wished I could be my 118 lb self again. Oh gosh, how naive I was. 127 lbs? Please, that is only a dream these days. I slowly gained after that though, and when I ended up pregnant with Pumpkin, I was 138 lbs. Not proud, but I was. Here is the day I found out I was pregnant. (You can see the pooch that I have always had in this pic)

I gained a lot with Pumpkin. I actually gained close to 40 lbs. I delivered in the 170 lb range. I never felt like I got that big, but looking back, I see that I did. (I cringe at these pictures)

2 months before I delivered (I need to find bigger friends)

The day of my baby shower

Thanks to some extreme stress (as mentioned before), I lost 20 lbs in 2 wks after Pumpkin was born. It took about 4 months to lose the other 20, but I eventually got back down to pre-baby weight, and then some. I sat at about 133 lbs. I felt ok, but not great. I still fantasized about my 118 lb body... or even my 127 lb body. But I was able to maintain, and I felt good about that. Some more stressful things happened, and I ended up dropping to 128 lbs. OMG, I looked HOT. Oh yes, check me out!

Me and Pumpkin on Mother's Day 2009

Me and Papa May/June-ish 2009

I tried to stay that way, but I didn't. I gained, of course. I blame that on M actually :) I still looked pretty good when we met, but I did gain. When we got married in the fall of 2010, I weighed 136 lbs. I wasn't really happy about that weight, but I had come to accept it. Then all hell broke loose.

We started our fertility treatments and my weight flew up. In about 6 months, I went from 136 lbs to 153 lbs. 17 lbs in 6 months. Wow. And I was trying everything to loose weight, or at least slow it down! But I couldn't. We decided to take a small break in trying, and Dr K gave me some pills to help me out with losing weight. They did help and I did loose some. I got down to 143 lbs, then found out I was pregnant.

YAY! I was pregnant!!!! BUT, I wasn't at a weight that I was comfortable with. Funny how I had a mix of emotions. We had been trying so hard to get pregnant, and now that we weren't thinking about it (well, kind of), and I was losing weight and trying to get to a comfortable stage to start trying hard again, I was pregnant. I was so thrilled to be pregnant though, that I just decided that this time would be different with my weight gain.

I think I am doing better then I did with Pumpkin. I weigh myself a lot, and today I was 163 lbs, at 26 1/2 wks... almost 27 ;) The thing that I am having a hard time with though, is the chart that Dr K keeps of my weight gain.

She records my weight every time I come in and puts it on this graph. Well, the graph only has one line. There is no "range" to be in, just a line to on. But dang that line is small! I jumped above it last time and wanted to cry. I know that you gain weight with pregnancy, and that there is a healthy weight to gain, but I really don't think dr's should give you a line to stay on. That puts a lot of pressure on an expecting mother. And when you jump above that little line, you feel like you need to diet and exercise to get back on it, which isn't always the healthy thing to do.

I am trying to not let that line haunt me though. Instead, I have found my own chart to go off of! The dot is me :)

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While I am still hovering around the "high" line, I like that this chart has a RANGE. It doesn't make me feel so bad about my weight gain because I am still in a good range. Maybe I should take this chart to Dr K and tell her to use it instead of the stupid line she has...

Have you struggled with your weight before, during, or after pregnancy? Does your dr have a tiny little line that your weight is supposed to be on?

*This post is not meant to make anyone feel bad in any way. I realize that there are women of all different shapes and sizes, and all with their own struggles. This is just my own personal battle with my own self-esteem related to my own weight*

No Pain, No Gain

My sister first told me this when I was getting ready to go into high school I think. If I remember right, I was doing some "beauty" thing, popping a zit or plucking my eyebrows for the first time, or something else that hurt, and I wanted to give up and she looked at me and said "no pain, no gain my sister". How true her words were, and still are, to everything related in life. Pregnancy included.

The first trimester can be painful, especially if you are sick. You are tired, feel like you are going to throw up all the time, if you aren't already, and can have cramps on top of it all. Food tastes like crap, you are constipated, and that glow that you are supposed to have? Well, lets just say the only glow I had was a tint of green.

Everyone says the second trimester is so much better. Maybe it is because you normally don't feel so sick anymore, but it brings with it it's own pains. Round ligament pain ring a bell? Feeling like your ovaries are being ripped apart, along with your growing uterus? Pressure on your bladder, or stomach, or other organs? Being hungry, but not able to eat because you have no room, causing either hunger pains if you don't eat, or pains of being full because you did eat and there is no place for your food to go? Sound a little painful? There is also the pains you get in your lower back, the cramping that never seems to go away, the kicks and jabs in your ribs and crotch. All of these things are pretty painful if you ask me. You can also be lucky like me and your baby sits on your nerves and you limp around in horrible pain (thanks Pumpkin) for months, having to actually go to physical therapy in hope of relief... that you don't get. Or you can loose circulation and get to wear the ever so sexy compression socks to help regulate your blood like your grandmother does. But don't worry, its just the second trimester. Next, you get to enter the third trimester.

The funnest of them all because time drags painfully on as you await your little one. You also can't sleep without 50 pillows around you, under you, and in between your legs. Laying down hurts, so you try to walking around. No luck. Your lower back hurts so bad, you feel like its going to snap at any moment. As your bundle of joy moves into position, your crotch breaks into two. Not literally, but it really does feel like it. I remember "walking" through the store right before Pumpkin was born, and I thought I was going to faint from the pain. It scared me too. I called Dr K because I really thought my crotch bone was breaking. She informed me that this was normal, and its actually 2 bones held together by cartilage, and that feeling I was having was the cartilage separating to help open up the birth canal for the baby to be able to come out. Oh, ok, so much better. But still painful.

You will survive all 3 trimesters though, and then you get to give birth! The contractions rock your world. Think menstrual cramps x168165191163874931561. They get you from the front, and the back. And just when you think you are going to get a break from one, another starts. It sucks, I'm not going to lie. Everyone's labor is different, so I am just talking from my experience with Pumpkin. The contractions are followed by pushing. They say pushing a baby out is equivalent to a man trying to pee out an orange. No big deal right? Remind your SO of that when you are trying to give birth and they seem to think its no big deal. Then I got an episiotomy, and tore the rest of the way anyways. Pumpkin's shoulder caught my tailbone on his way out and cracked it. I think that was the worst part (after the rest I should say). I couldn't sit for weeks. And then there is breastfeeding.

I was under A LOT of stress after Pumpkin was born. I mentioned a little about it here. I think because of all this stress, I was never able to get a supply in. I tried to breastfeed though. My nipples cracked and bleed and they hurt constantly. Oh so, so painful. But with PPD, a really mean nurse telling me I was starving my baby but yet didn't help me at all, and the stress of everything else, I couldn't do it, and that was emotionally painful.

I am not trying to scare you, or discourage you, honestly! Obviously the pain is all worth it if I have tried so hard to put myself back into the same situation! And, despite all these "pains", you do get the greatest gain of all. Your baby. And there isn't a pain in the world that isn't worth holding your child for the first time or the love that you feel towards them.

Right after Pumpkin was born with my sister who told me those ever so true words

What pains are you scared most about? Or what pains do you think are the worst?

I Swear I'm Not 80

I think Peanut must be sitting on a nerve, or vein, or something she shouldn't be on because the bottom of my legs keep falling asleep. I can be sitting, or standing, or laying in bed, and within a few minutes, numb. I don't seem to have any issues with getting enough blood to my nose though since I have been waking up every morning with bloody noses.

I called Dr K, and talked to her nurse A (who is my favorite nurse ever by the way) and she suggested "support hose". I really don't like that name, it makes me sound like I am 80, so we are going with the much cooler name of compression socks.

Our local medical equipment place has the best selection of compression socks around, so I headed there with my prescription for a pair. The lady was really nice, and even called them compression socks for me! She got me fitted with a correct pair, gave me instructions as to when to wear them (all day, but not to bed), and sent me on my way.

Source

Yep, that's them. Nothing fancy or special, just look like a pair of plain ol' knee high socks. The difference though? They are super tight around the ankle. Its hard enough lately to put on socks, but these puppies are SO tight that its a real struggle. Do they make something to help you pull your socks up? Anyways, they are real tight around the ankle, then kind of taper wider as they move up, almost making a cone shape.

The lady explained it to me as the pressure of them is what makes your blood keep flowing. I was still skeptical though because they do look like my other knee highs, despite the fact that they are so tight. I put them on when I got home though and guess what? My legs didn't fall asleep! All day I had circulation! It was amazing!!!! They are comfortable too, and I don't notice how tight they are around the ankle.

I only bought one pair to try first. So yes, I know its gross, but I wear the same pair of socks every day. To make myself feel better about this, I always put a pair of ankle socks over the top, so the outside doesn't get dirty. Luckily it is winter here, so my feet don't get hot and sweaty in them either. You can wash them normal, but have to line dry. I think I will have to go invest in another pair though to be able to switch back and forth since I do have a little over 3 months to go.

It may seem like I am 80, but man, support hose, I mean compression socks, are the way to go if you need a little help getting your blood circulating correctly. Oh, and another bonus? I don't know if this really is related or not, but my bloody noses have stopped! Yay for support compression socks!

Have you had to purchase anything during your pregnancy that you never thought you would?

Meet Marli

If it were up to me, we would have a zoo of animals. Unfortunately, M doesn't let me. So, as of right now, we only have 2 animals, our Silver Lab Mater (Pumpkin named him :) ), and our little black cat Marli.

We got Marli from the Humane Society. She, along with her brother who M wouldn't let me bring home too, was a stray. She won me over right away because of how small she was, playful she was, and just so darn cute! Pumpkin was a fan of her too :)

The day we brought Marli home

Marli has been a part of our family since the spring of 2010. She was supposed to be an inside cat, but likes to sneak out during the summer. During the winter, she prefers my lap :) I couldn't imagine our family without her, so I was a little taken back when my sister asked me the other day if I was getting rid of her before Peanut was born. Of course not! But it did get me thinking of the reasons why people will get rid of their cats during pregnancy. The main one that I could think of is the litter box.

Since we try to make Marli an inside cat, we do have a cat box. During the summer she doesn't use it as often because she spends so much time outside, but she won't leave the house during the winter, therefore using her potty lots.

I have always been the one to clean the cat box. It doesn't bother me. Its in the laundry room, next to the garbage, and doesn't take anytime to do so. My mom wasn't so keen on the idea of me cleaning the cat box while pregnant though since cat feces can carry Toxoplasmosis. She tried to convince M to clean it, which he did once, but other than that, I still clean the cat box.

I did do some research on the ever so trustworthy internet, and found out some interesting things on Toxoplasmosis. The 2 sites I found most helpful where the Human Society and Baby Center.

The Human Society's site was most helpful to me. It talked about how cats can get Toxoplasmosis (or T. gondii) from other things rather than just mice, like any raw meat they may eat even given to them by their owners. It also explains the incubation period, and how changing the litter box daily can prevent you from contracting the disease.

Also, since cats are normally exposed to T. gondii as kittens, they are less likely to transmit it as adults. Since Marli was a stray, her chances of getting it as a kitten (because of eating anything she could find) are pretty good.

The major thing that stuck out to me in this article is how people contract the disease:

"...since oocysts are transmitted by ingestion, in order to contract toxoplasmosis, a woman would have to make contact with contaminated feces in the litter box and then, without washing her hands, touch her mouth or otherwise transmit the contaminated fecal matter to her digestive system."

Um, gross. I am super anal about washing my hands, so they even get washed when I get out of the shower! But, even I wasn't like that, pretty sure I would still wash after cleaning the cat box!

The interesting thing I got from the Baby Center's website was that you can get Toxoplasmosis from gardening! Yep, not just your stinky ol' cat box. Since I got pregnant with Peanut this summer, I did quite a bit of gardening in the soil that Marli has roamed in. I am probably actually more likely to T. gondii from the soil since there were many times I would wipe my nose with the back of my gardening glove while working, or get dirt on my face from digging, etc.

After my research on Toxoplasmosis, I have concluded that Marli will stay a part of our family (this really was no question), and that I will continue to clean the cat box regularly as I always have.

Since this was a long, boring, scientific post (ha!), I will leave you with another cute picture of darling Marli! She is trying to attack the camera here :)

How do you feel about cats during pregnancy? Do you have a litter box that you clean even while pregnant?

ABC's of Pregnancy

When you have kids, the ABC's are everywhere! Books, blocks, flashcards, wall hangings, etc. And most of the books and flashcards have cute little things that go with the letter. A is for Apple, B is for Book, C is for Cow...

Source

Well, as I was laying in bed, wishing sleep would make its way to me, I was thinking about the ABC's of pregnancy. So, here is my alphabet!

• A is for Ass. If you didn't get any, you wouldn't be here! HAHA! Just joking, kind of ;) But A is for Ass, my ass. It used to be cute and bubbly and now it is BAM! In your face, all over the place!
• B is for Boobs. Get ready for some big boobs! With Pumpkin, I started at a nice C, and by the time he was born, I was in an E or F or whatever comes after all the D's! 
• C is for Cravings. Mine this time around? Cheese, Ramen Noodles, sweets, chocolate (although it doesn't always like me - see H), mashed potatoes, noodles, and did I say sweets?!
• D is for Digestion. Or lack of. Lets just say my #2's are few and far between. And when they do show up, you better watch out!
• E is for Eyes. Mine have been extremely dry. I even lost a contact one day because of it!
• F is for Fear. I have many fears. It scares me when I can't feel Peanut move. It scares me when I lift something heavy or run a little, or anything that might hurt her. And one of my biggest fears lately, not being able to breastfeed.
• G is for Gas. It happens. You don't know when, or where, until its too late.
• H is for Heartburn and Hair and Hemorrhoids. I have never had heartburn before. And I always thought it was supposed to be spicy things that give it to you, but I seem to get it when I eat chocolate! And hair. Man does it grow in nice and thick, EVERYWHERE! I have had to up my finger shaving, and face de-fuzzing, and my stomach now see's the razor on a regular basis! Hemorrhoids are one of those things that people don't tell you about when you get pregnant, but they are a very real thing, unfortunately.
• I is for Ice-cream. Yes please. Especially if its fried.
• J is for Juice. I can't get enough of it.
• K is for Kicking. I love those little kicks inside my belly!
• L is for Legs. Mine get HUGE.
• M is for Milk and Muscles. I am so scared my milk won't come in and I won't be able to breastfeed. And muscles. Yes, there used to be some in my stomach, and no, not all stretched out like they are now!
• N is for Nose. My sense of smell has kicked up, but every night, I get so stuffy I can't breath. And then it bleeds all the time.
• O is for Open Up. You have to spread your legs a lot while you are pregnant.
• P is for Pee and Pain and Privacy. I pee a lot. I even have little accidents when I sneeze. And the pains. I have cramping a lot, either from the #2's, or the growing, or the pinched nerves, or the sore muscles. You get the point. And then there is the labor... Which leads me privacy. Once you get pregnant, you never have any again. I can't tell you the last I was able to go to the bathroom without Pumpkin walking in.
• Q is for Quite Time. Enjoy those moments of silence, because once you have kids, good luck finding some!
• R is for Random. I get random cravings. I randomly clean the house. Randomly get tired (why can't this happen at night?!).
• S is for Stretch Marks and Swelling. Oh yes. My belly isn't so bad (at least not yet), but my legs, and that big ol' ass is covered. Along with the boobs. And the swelling sets in fast. There are some days I can't even move my rings. You retain everything!
• T is for Tears. They come so much easier! I cry about everything!!!
• U is for Underwear. Thongs? A thing of the past! Granny panties hold the panty liners better, and help to control that ass a little bit more.
• V is for Van. It really does cross your mind to buy one....
• W is for Weight and Water. I have always tried to loose weight, and I know that it going up now is a good thing, but man, its hard to see some of those numbers! And water? I gained about 20 lbs in water weight at the end of Pumpkins pregnancy.
• X is for X-it. Yes, I know that its really spelled E-X-I-T, but bear with me, its all I got. Yes, that baby is going to have to make an exit.
• Y is for Years. It may seem like pregnancy takes years, but once you have kids, they fly by.
• Z is for Zoo. My house will be a zoo. It already is with Pumpkin, a dog, a cat, and husband. I can't even imagine what its going to be like when Peanut gets here!

That is my version of the ABC's of Pregnancy! What would you add, take away, or change?

Slight Freakout

My GF L came by yesterday with her baby, which is almost 3 months old. She had gotten shots the day before and was.... grumpy to put it nicely. I have to admit, I had a small freakout from it.

Pumpkin was SUCH a good baby. Never cried, never was crabby, never fussed, nothing. I was very fortunate to have such an easy baby. When I saw L's baby being, not easy, I didn't know what to do. Granted L did things that I would not have, like picking her up and stuff while she was content and sleeping, causing her to wake up and fuss more, but still. What if Peanut is a fussy, crying, crabby baby? How will I handle?

Source

Having an almost 4-year-old running around the house can be extremely tiring, and I guess I was being extremely naive thinking that Peanut would be an easy baby, therefore not making it too hard having 2 kids at home.


I am praying that part of L's crabby baby was because of how L "spoils" her, and that my baby won't be the same. I am really hoping I don't have blinders on as to how Peanut is going to be.

24 Weeks

We have made it to 24 weeks! It is a relief to know that if Peanut was born now, she has a chance at surviving. I would rather her stick tight until due date though :)

I haven't bought anything for her yet. To be honest, I can't pinpoint the reason why not either. This pregnancy has been going really well, and she is a SHE, but when I go to the store... nothing. I do find things I love and want, and tell others about them, but I have yet to take anything home. I feel scared to have stuff for her already, like I might jinx it all or something. I want to shop and buy, but just haven't been able to actually take that leap.

Peanut likes to kick my in the crotch, a lot. When she moves, its always her little feet doing a dance down there. I do love feeling her move, but kind of wish she would kick a little higher! There are some days that she hardly moves at all, and when she does its really faint. I really don't like those days. Its funny though. With Pumpkin, I would have been calling Dr K to tell her and make sure everything is OK, but with Peanut, I am more relaxed about it all. I hope that is a good thing... We have another dr appt on Thursday, so I guess we will find out then if everything is still looking good! ;)

Sleep...

Or lack of. Its 3 in the morning. I am wide awake. I have slept for maybe 2 hrs tonight.

I was so excited because its "fall back" tonight, and so we get an extra hour of sleep, but I can't sleep! I don't know why. I don't even feel a little tired. I tried to make myself sleep, but I couldn't. So, now I am sitting here, wishing I was sleeping. I know that it is going to make for a long day, but I don't know what else to do!

If these sleepless nights keep happening, I am going to have to ask Dr K if there is something I can do. I have to be able to function during the day, especially with Pumpkin around!

I guess if this keeps up even after Peanut is born, that would be a semi good thing. I wouldn't have to drag myself out of bed to do nighttime feedings, I would be waiting for her to wake up!

I need some sleep....

Six Babies?

I had a pretty vivid dream last night. I went to my hair lady's place, which turned into my Dr's office, and went into labor. With 6 babies.

For some reason though, I only was with 2 of them, a boy and a girl, and the boy grew really fast. Within 2 days, he was like huge, the size of a 3-yr-old, but still a baby. M was at work. He never came to see me or the babies. In fact, I didn't see him until I came home, and then it was just randomly.

It was such an odd dream, and I have no idea what it means, if anything. Maybe it means M will be at work when I go into labor. Or that he will miss the birth (I pray not!). Hopefully it is just a weird random pregnancy dream though. It is sticking with me though, almost like a nightmare.

OVER Half Way

I just realized the other day that I am 5 1/2 months pregnant. That means we are over half way there. It does not seem real at all.

I feel like we have so much to do (which we do), and tons of time to do it. I mean, we still do have lots of time, but I would like everything done by January, or at least in January. I don't want to have to worry about things in February, I just want to relax and enjoy the last month. Plus, if Peanut decides to come early, I want to be completely ready. I get too much anxiety waiting until time is getting close!

I just can't believe how soon we will be meeting our little Peanut. This year has already flown by, and the next 2 months are going to be crazy with Thanksgiving and Christmas, that time isn't going to slow at all. I am so excited, and can't wait to start getting things done!

Getting To Feel

M got to feel Peanut kick today. She is still kicking pretty soft, but you can definitely feel her. I was really happy that he was able to feel her, since I have for awhile now. He was pretty excited too. It made our morning. :)

Half Way There

We are 20 wks now. It is so crazy to think that we are already half way through this pregnancy. WOW. The first half went so fast, I can't even imagine what this second half is going to be like, especially since there are a lot of things going on, such as Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, etc.

In celebration of 20 wks though, I figured I should post a "bump" pic. I feel like its still low, and that I still look fat, but none the less, here it is:

Pumpkin VS Peanut

I have been comparing my two pregnancies since the day I found out I was pregnant. Part of the reason was just to see how they are the same or different, and the other part was to see if I could figure out what I was having. Let me just say though, wow, these pregnancies are way different!

I was tired with Pumpkin right in the beginning, lifting at 12 weeks. I only threw up maybe 2 times, otherwise I felt great. My hair grew nice, my nails were strong, and even though I broke out really bad in the beginning, my acne ended up clearing up. My tummy got a little hairy (but I'm kind of just hairy as it is!), and other than some crazy mood swings in the beginning, my hormones were pretty well in check.

So say my pregnancy with Peanut is different would be an understatement! Even at 20 wks I still randomly get sick and will throw up or otherwise it goes out the other end. My hair is stringy, still falling out actually, and my nails haven't really been growing. I'm still breaking out major, like huge ones, under the skin and all over my body, back, belly, neck, face, etc. My tummy is so hairy, I ended up shaving it the other day. While the hair on my head isn't growing so great, I am making up for it on my legs and... other parts. And poor M. I have been one crazy pregnant lady! My emotion and hormones are all over the place, and so unpredictable.

I don't know if my pregnancies are so different because they say that every pregnancy is different. I also don't know if they are different because of the father. Or, they could simply be so different because Pumpkin is a boy, and Peanut is a girl. :)

Predictions

Since we are finding out what we are having (well, hopefully Peanut will cooperate with us!), I thought it would be fun to do some gender prediction tests to see if they are right!

I took 2 "Wive's Tales" quizzes, with similar results. One said 75% girl, and the other said 73% girl! I also did the "Ring Test" where you dangle your wedding ring over your belly (or wrist) with a strand of hair, and depending on its movement tells you whether you are having a boy or a girl. If it goes in a circle, you are having a girl, and if it goes side to side, its a boy. Mine CLEARLY went side to side, so that indicates we should be having a boy!

I think I would trust the "Ring Test" over the quizzes, but I'm not fully convinced. It is just a fun little gender prediction thing to do while I wait for our appt. I am so excited to find out!!!!

A Little Hiccup

Baby hiccups that is! I was woken up last night due to Peanut's hiccups! I forgot what a crazy fun feeling it is! I really wish M could feel Peanut moving around though.

I pretty much feel movements everyday now, but they are really low. They almost feel like they are in my crotch! OK, not quite that low, but still, they are low, not like they are in my "belly".

I've been feeling pretty self-conscious about the way I look. My belly is so low still, not the "bump" that most people experience. I think I still just look fat. It makes me pretty sad, especially considering that we are coming up on 20 wks, half way there. Maybe I will post a "belly pic" for the milestone, but I still don't feel cute, or that I look that pregnant. It might be because this is my second baby, but I wish a had that perfect high cute bump. :( Little pity-party just now, sorry.

Happy news is that in just 2 days we get to see Peanut again, and hopefully find out if Peanut will be dressing in blue or pink! I cannot wait!!!

Pregnant Colposcopy

I had my colposcopy today. It actually wasn't too bad. They try not to biopsy anything while you are pregnant, unless there are tons of places that need it. Lucky for me, there was only one bad spot, so Dr K let it be. She is going to keep her eye on it though, and do a biopsy once Peanut is born.

Exciting news though. We get to find out what we are having in 1 week!!! I can't wait!!!! I still have no idea. Some days I think boy, others I think girl. My sister D is hoping girl, but says she feels deep down that it is a boy. Papa (my dad) is hoping girl too, but thinks boy, and Nana (my mom) is thinking girl. M still wants a boy, but still insists its a girl. I'm just so anxious to find out!

Crying Myself a River

Everything has been making me cry, and I mean everything. A random song on the radio, a commercial, a video posted on FB... you get the idea. I hate being such a crybaby, but I can't help it! I am overly emotional lately.

I have also been feeling really unattractive. My "bump" is odd shaped, and really low. I look like a have a pouch. Plus, my stomach is hairy, I'm breaking out on my back, stomach, chest, and neck. My face is clearing up a little, but still, its everywhere else. I feel like I am fat, and ugly, and that makes me cry too.

Poor M has gotten the worst end of it all. I ask him if he loves me, if he thinks I'm pretty, if he likes to be around me. I feel so bad, but like I said, I am an emotional wreck lately. I really hope this stage goes by quickly, I don't know how much more of this I could handle (or M!).

I Feel Like I Feel

I think I can feel Peanut moving around. Its not very often, or very much, but I'm pretty sure I can make out the first little movements.

I can't wait until they get stronger and more often, since that is such a comfort because then I know that little Peanut is doing ok. I also can't wait until M can feel the movements. He is very anxious for that and I am excited to see his face at the first kick. I think Pumpkin will be pretty excited too!

Peanut is supposed to be doubling in size this week, and to be honest, I can feel my stomach muscles (yeah, I like to pretend that I have some!) stretch. It was actually kind of painful this morning, but I am happy to endure it, knowing that it is for the growth of our baby.

Other then that, nothing new is really going on. I am still jobless, and thinking I will probably be that way for quite a while. We are trying to make ends meet, and while it is very stressful right now, I know we will make it through, someway, somehow.

Scheduled Colposcopy

We had our Dr appt today, and it went pretty well. I have only gained 1 pound this past 3 wks, so I was really happy about that.

We talked to Dr K about the HPV and the colposcopy. I had heard some pretty scary things (and yes, I did the bad internet searching too) about getting a colposcopy done while pregnant, so I was (and still am) very scared about doing it. Dr K assured me that it would be ok though, and that she has never seen any issues come up with doing one. So we scheduled it for 3 wks out, at 3 in the afternoon. M will have to work, so he can't go with me, but he is hoping to be done in time to come and get me. If not, its ok, I will be able to drive myself home. The procedure will take about an hour though, so I need to take something fun to do! I think I took music last time...

I also talked to Dr K about delivering vaginally with HPV or having a C-Section. She said that she hasn't heard of any complications with vaginal deliveries, so unless something goes crazy wrong with the cancer, we will stick with a vaginal delivery.

I am so nervous to have this procedure done. I will bleed, and that scares the crap out of me. Bleeding during pregnancy is always a huge red flag, normally meaning miscarriage, so the thought of bleeding, even if its induced by surgery, terrifies me. I guess you have to do what you have to do though. I do know that I will not do anything that may put the baby in danger. I will risk my life first (not that its that serious right now, but just saying!).

This will be another long 3 week wait, but that will put me at 18, almost 19 weeks, which is really exciting! And really close to getting to find out what sex Peanut is!

One Day At A Time

I lost my job. I actually didn't "lose" it, I got fired. And to be completely honest, I think its because I am pregnant. I have been being bullied and got written up twice since I announced my pregnancy. I am so stressed about it. I can't collect unemployment because I was fired, although I am trying.

I am really trying to reduce my stress though. I know that stress isn't good while you are pregnant, and I am starting to feel sick lately. So I am trying to relax, take one day at a time.

I am looking for another job, but its going to be really hard. Not many people want to hire a 4 month pregnant lady, but hopefully someone will. Until I find another job, I am trying to enjoy not working, and keep my stress low. Money is really tight, but I try not to think of it.

We have our next Dr appt on Thursday, and we will be able to talk to Dr K about my HPV and what is going on. While that whole situation is stressful, it will be really nice to hopefully get some answers.

So life is pretty stressful right now, but I know we will make it through, one day at a time.

Good News, Bad News

I have been avoiding writing this post. Maybe because I think that by not writing it, it won't be true, or maybe I just needed to get my emotions under control first. Anyways, here it is.

Our Dr appt last Tuesday (yeah I know, almost a week ago) was filled with good news and bad news. I guess I will give you the good news first, since that is all we were expecting to hear.

I have lost about 3 lbs, which is good! She was also able to find Peanut's heartbeat as soon as she put the doppler on my stomach. It was such a reassuring sound, and so great to find it so fast!

Now the bad news. My high risk HPV is back. The same cancer crap I had a year ago. I have to get another colposcopy done, but they have to wait until I am further in my second trimester as it causes bleeding, cramping, and can put you into preterm labor.

The research I have done on the internet (horrible thing to do!) says that there is a chance that with a vaginal birth, you can pass the HPV onto your baby, who is most likely able to shake the infection on their own. Some dr's won't let you deliver vaginally though because of the chance of passing it on. I have to ask Dr K what her thoughts are on it. M and I don't want to take any chances though. We have gone through enough to get here, so we would much rather have a c-section then risk giving Peanut an infection right off the bat.

This news was really hard to hear, but I think the hardest part is the wait. We have 3 wks in between appts (only 2 more wks to go), then we have to schedule the colposcopy, so more waiting time. Then we wait some more on the results of how advanced it is and what to do from there.

I am lucky to have such a great Dr and nurse though who try to keep me as positive as possible and not stress me. I am also extremely blessed to have such a wonderful husband who takes care of me and is always by my side.

M's Dreams

My dreams haven't been that bad recently *knock on wood*, but M is having them. His are a little different then mine though. He keeps dreaming we are having a girl. He is so sure that it is true because of his dreams!

M wants a boy. Me, I don't really care. Pumpkin wants a girl! M wants a boy because he watched his sister go through her teenage years, and he is terrified of going through that with his own daughter. I don't really care because I would love to have a girl, but boys are so fun! And Pumpkin, well, I can't really tell you what reason is behind a 3-yr-old's decision on girl.

We have a little while until we can find out though, anywhere from 4-8 weeks. So until then, M can keep up his crazy dreams, and I can keep going back and forth.

Constant Worry

I am living in a state of constant worry. Any cramp, soreness, sickness, anything, I worry about. Yesterday I was sitting on the couch with Pumpkin, and our lab jumped from the floor straight onto me, his paw landing right where Dr K finds the baby's heartbeat. He then pushed off of me and jumped back down. So now I am worried.

I know nothing probably happened, but what if it did? What if him landing on me did some kind of damage? I haven't spotted or anything, but I am still worried. I will probably worry until we go in for our next appt, which isn't for another couple weeks.

I hate living in constant worry. I hope that once we hit 12 wks I won't worry so much, but I probably will. I don't know what I would do if I lost this baby. Worrying isn't going to help anything either, but I just really can't help it.

Peanut

We got another US done. I have decided to call the little bug Peanut, cuz it looks just like one! It was pretty amazing though. M got to finally see his work... little arms and legs kicking around. We also got to see the heart beating, but she didn't let us hear it. She was actually kind of a bitch, but oh well.

Anyways, here is our little Peanut.

Taken with my phone * sorry :)

I cannot wait until we are at 12 weeks. I will worry less, and hopefully feel better :) Only 2 wks to go until then!

Heartbeat

We had another dr appt today, and we got to hear the heartbeat! It was amazing to hear that galloping sound. And to watch M's face light up. That might have been the best part :)

My dr did tell me that my pap came back abnormal. They are waiting for the HPV test to come back, so not sure what is going on just yet. Of course, my mind jumps to the worse and I start thinking cancer again. I am trying to stay calm though, and not think about it, but it is so hard. Why can't my vagina just be normal?! I want normal pap smears like everyone else. What happens if it is cancer again? Would that affect my pregnancy? How would they take care of that?

I am trying not to think about it, and just be happy with hearing our little bug's heartbeat. We go back in 3 wks, which will mark the end of our first trimester. That itself will be a huge relief.

I Did The Dreadful

M and I got into a fight. Part of it was he was mad that I hadn't told any of my friends that I am pregnant. He didn't understand the reason WHY I didn't want to tell him. So, I had to the dreadful. The thing that I DID NOT want to do, ever. I posted it on Facebook.

*GAG* I hate when people post things about being pregnant or announcing it on Facebook. But, M wanted people to know, so now they know. I cringed when I submitted that little status update: Oh boy... or girl! Still makes me sick! People were very excited of course, but I am still scared.

I guess there isn't much I can do about people knowing, especially now. Plus this is a small town, and word spreads so fast. Everyone would have known soon anyways. Just wish I didn't have to fall into the masses of people announcing it on Facebook.

First Appointment

We had our first OB appt yesterday. It wasn't that exciting. I got a physical (I think M started to feel a little uncomfortable!), and she went over everything that is going to be coming up, such as test, ect.

Going off of the dates of my last period, my due date is February 28. Next year is a leap year, so I really hope I don't deliver then! We have a bunch of birthdays in February too, Pumpkins, M's, M's sister, and some friends. What's one more?!

Dr K tried to find the heartbeat yesterday too, but couldn't. I am feeling ok about that though because she said it would be really crazy if we could hear it at this point. She did set us up with an US for next Friday though so that we can see our little bug and hear it's heart. M hasn't gotten to yet, so that will be exciting for him. Our next OB appt will be the following Monday.

I'm still feeling pretty sick. Trying to stay active and walk and bike ride, but when I start feeling icky, its really hard to get motivated! It seems that ice cream never fails to make me feel better, so I have to try really hard to stay active if I am going to give into that craving!

Beef, It's What's NOT For Dinner

I LOVE meat. I have always loved meat, that is what we grew up on. My
dad hunts (and so do I!) and so we have always had deer meat in our
freezer and for dinner, along with regular hamburger of course. One of
the best meals ever is a steak, medium rare, with a baked potato. Ok,
I have to stop or I might throw up!

Yep that is right, my food aversion so far has been meat. The sight,
smell, even thought of it makes my stomach weak. I don’t know what to
do! We have some form of meat almost every night for dinner! I’m going
to have to go on a vegetarian diet or something to get me through
this. I just hope that after this pregnancy, my love for meat returns!

First Dream

I have always had pretty vivid dreams. I can remember them clearly, sometimes so clearly that the “bad” ones stick with me and bug me all day (even days) long. I also have reoccurring dreams.

Last night I had one of my reoccurring dreams, except it was a little different this time. The ending was different, and it is still bugging me. I went to the bathroom, and there was blood. Lots of dark red blood. I kept trying to get to my dr, but I couldn’t for some reason, and the blood didn’t stop. I woke up then, but can’t stop thinking about it.

I think the reason for the blood in my dream was because I spotted a little yesterday. M and I DTD yesterday morning (for the first time in WEEKS – according to him!), and then I started to spot. I summed it up to the fact of DTD, and that it wasn’t much to worry about (also thanks to my friend H who reassured me). If it were to get worse or more of a red color, I would have called my dr, but it stayed pink and really light. I haven’t had any since, except in my dream.

Odd dreams are said to be a part of pregnancy, but I hope my odd dreams are at least fun, and not scary like bleeding uncontrollably. I am trying not to read too much into the dream either. They are the things that were on my mind, coming out in my sleep. Nothing to worry about… right?