We Got A Good Thing Going

I didn't breastfeed Pumpkin. I tried for about 6 months with L, but it was hard, and there was a lot of supplementing. LL and I have got it down though... I think :) *knock on wood that I didn't just jinx us!*

We have been EBF for 3 months now. WOOTWOOT! I would be lying if I didn't say there were times I wanted to throw in the towel though. So I thought I would give my 2 cents, for what they are worth.

First I want to say, it's ok to give formula. I say we have been EBF for 3 months, but we did give a couple bottles of formula. There were some really hard times in the beginning that I just couldn't do it. When L was in the hospital for instance, and she really needed me, but LL wanted to nurse, we had to give a bottle. In the beginning at night when I was working and didn't have a stash built up, M had to give some formula. Either way you feed your child is awesome, just as long as the little munchkin gets a belly full :)

If you are breastfeeding or planning to breastfeed here are some of my must haves. Every one is different so this might not pertain to you, but use what you can and ditch the rest.

1) Nipple Shield. I have pretty flat nipples. The nurses in the hospital, and the lactation consultant, told me to play with them to get the to stand out a little more prior to BF, but it didn't help. I'm sure if I would have continued to push it, we would have eventually gotten it, but the nipple shield helped, got LL to latch, and it still works. We have gotten to the point that she will nurse without it, but she doesn't stay latched as long, and honestly, I kind of like the shield more! Odd, but it helps me feel like my supply is enough. Sometimes when she falls asleep, I'll pull her off and when I see that the shield still has milk in the end of it, I feel like I know she got enough.

Medela nipple shield

2) Magic Nipple Cream. I tried Lanolin to no avail. I tried tea bags, warm packs, gel packs, everything. Nothing helped. My nipples cracked, ripped, bled, blistered, damn near fell off. Finally I told my NP that I couldn't handle the pain and she prescribed my Magic Nipple Cream (that is really what it is called, and the name is suiting). Its a compounded prescription and O. M. G. it is good. Great. Wonderful. MAGIC. Within a day or 2 my nipples were completely healed and felt amazing. If you are having issues with your nipples and the other remedies don't seem to be working, ask your dr about Magic Nipple Cream. Your life, well at least your nipples, will be saved. 

3) A good pump. I use the Medela Pump In Style. It's price is steep but my insurance covered it, and it is totally worth it. I had a less expensive, less powerful, less good pump to begin with, but after I had my biopsy I wanted something better, and this bad boy is it. I like to think of it as the Cadillac of breast pumps. Despite being big, it is quiet and efficient. I know not everyone has insurance, but all private insurances will pay for a pump (The Affordable Care Act (ACA) was signed into law in 2010. There are many parts of the ACA, but one of the most valuable is that ACA requires health plans to cover breastfeeding support and supplies. Many health plans began implementing this coverage on or after August 1, 2012.If you have a private insurance carrier or commercial insurer, this law applies to you. Currently this law does not cover Medicaid or WIC.), and a good pump is essential if you plan to pump at all. My other pump gave me sores, barely drained me, was super loud, and took forever. Save money, ask for money, steal money if you have to (not really, but just saying), and invest in a good pump.

Medela Pump In Style

4) An open mind. Cheesy, I know, but true. If you plan to BF, don't be too hard on yourself if you can't get it. It is hard, and it took me 3 kids to get it down! After 3 months, I still question if LL is getting enough. The dr who I talked to after my biopsy asked how long a planned on BF, and I told her that I had no idea. The truth is I would love to for maybe a year, but if we don't make it that long, its ok. I tried. I did the best I could. There is so much pressure to breast feed and it is so unfair. Not everyone is made the same. We don't all come with rock star breast feeding boobs and babies that latch and nurse perfectly. LL and I have a good thing going right now, but who knows what next month will hold, or next week for that matter. I'm taking each day, each nursing session, as they come. I feel like once I relaxed about being able to nurse, we got better at it. 

So there is my short but necessary list. What would you add?

You Are Who You Are

Pumpkin taught me a very import lesson this week: You are who you are, and it works, works, works.

M and I love to do outdoor things, like hunt, fish, camp, 4-wheel, dirt bike, etc. So naturally, we try to get our kids involved in those things. Pumpkin has always loved riding on the dirt bike with M, so when he was 2 we bought him his first dirt bike.

With M

His gear

 

Seeing how the new bike fits

We put training wheels on the bike and let him ride. He was hesitant at first, but slowly got the hang of it. Each year he would ride a little more and get a little more comfortable. Last year, he raced in his first race.

Sorry its blurry, but out on the track!

With his trophy for finishing :)

We made the mistake of having him race 2 nights, so a total of 4 races. By the 4th race he was tired and worn out. He ended up crashing 2x and not finishing the last race. The really bummer though... we can't get him to ride anymore.

Training wheels came off a while after the race and he would ride a little with M running along and helping him out. Unfortunately, Ex had some things to say to Pumpkin, and now he won't ride. He gets on and just sits there. Its like he wants to go, but won't. The other night he said he wanted to ride so he got all his gear on, M got the bike going, and then he just sat there. It was really frustrating because there wasn't anything we could do to help him get his confidence back. Also, being that M and I both ride, it was hard to see that he wouldn't.

Later that evening Pumpkin was in his room waiting for me to tuck him in and I heard him saying "you are what you are and it works, works, works". That broke my heart.

As much as I want my son to ride dirt bikes with us, he may not, and that is ok. He is his own person, with his own interests, and will have his own hobbies, whether they are the same as us or not. And that is perfectly ok. I don't love him less for it, or even like him less, and I am excited to see what he chooses to do and the path he chooses to follow on his.

Thanks Pumpkin for reminding me that we are all our own person, and it is ok.

A Secret

I have a secret I'm going to let you in on. LL's name wasn't originally LL, it was Courtney.

M and I had a boy name picked, so of course we had a girl. The whole time I was pregnant we went back and forth with girl names. On a whim I said LL. M didn't care for it at first, and I wasn't in love with it, so we continued on in our name search. Except, M started to really like LL. So much so that EVERY. SINGLE. NAME. I suggested, he said no to. Wouldn't even think about them. I began to resent the name LL because of it.

About a month before she was born, we finally decided on a name... Briar Rae. I do love the name Briar, and I was so happy that we decided on a name. The only problem? We questioned ourselves. A couple days before I was set to be induced, M brought up these questions and we tossed around the name Courtney.

Courtney wasn't just a name that M randomly came up with. Its actually Dee's middle name, and a name he said a long time ago. We contemplated the name and thought that maybe we shouldn't use it because it was my sister's middle name and the other sisters might feel left out. But we both liked it, so we stuck it on the back burner.

Anyways, questions arose and we weren't 100% on a girl name going into labor. Most likely it was going to be Briar, but Courtney was back in the mix. Had LL been a boy, it would have been SSSOOO much easier. But of course, she wasn't :)

When the dr said it was a girl and asked her name, I looked at M. He blurted out Courtney. Perfect. He decided in the moment, we both liked the name, it was settled. Or so I thought.

Sitting in the NICU I started to doubt our rash decision. I loved the name Courtney, but for some reason it felt hard to say. Almost like a mouth full in itself. I still loved the name Briar, but it just didn't really seem to "fit" her. And then M's love popped into mind, LL.

Let me tell you something. Never, and I mean NEVER, name a child right after birth when your emotions and hormones are going crazy. If M would have told me at that moment to shave my head, I would have. I had this unbearable urge to please him and make him happy (yes I feel the need to make him happy all the time, but this was that normal feeling x1320165142). SO I went back to our room and asked him if he would rather name her LL.

Of course he said yes. We felt a little odd and embarrassed to change her name since we had already made it "Facebook official", but we hadn't filled out the birth certificate yet, so it wasn't legally a big deal at all. So we changed her name.

That is secret one, that we changed her name. I guess its really only a secret to you since everyone that knows us personally already knew that. Secret two: I don't like her name.

I know I was the one who suggested it in the first place, but it was more a name in passing, along with the other bajillion I had suggested. I also know that I asked M if we should change it to that, but like I said, hormones + emotions = bad combo that will make you do irrational things.

Her name is absolutely HORRIBLE, but it doesn't make me think pretty, feminine, or unique at all. There are a few names I can say right this second that I would take over her name. I feel horrible for not liking her name, and kick my self in the ass constantly for changing it to LL, but there is nothing I can do now.

So, let me give you advice. Love your child's name. Be 100% sure, BEFORE birth, that the names on the table are ones you want to live with for the rest of your life. If you aren't positive about a name before your baby is born, give it at least 3 days before you say for sure what the name is going to be.

I love my daughter, but I don't like her name.

I mean honestly, how could you NOT love that little smile?!

IgA

We took Miss L to an asthma and allergy dr on Monday to see if we could get any answers as to why she has had pneumonia 2x and required a week+ stay each time.

The dr tested her for different allergens... dust, mold, dog dander, and horse dander. To do this they clean her back and make little dots with a permanent marker. Then they take the allergen and put it right next to the marker. I think it might poke them a little, but not painfully. Miss L didn't really care for any of this, but she took it better than I think most 2-year-olds would. The last one they put on her is a control so they can see what a positive would look like. After 15 minutes they come back and measure all the spots. Luckily they all came back negative, but that also meant a dead end for answers.

He looked at all the blood work she has had done and decided that he wanted to do a blood draw to see what her white blood count is when she is healthy because it was been low before, and to test for an immune deficiency. I am so happy that he decided to do this, and so frustrated that it wasn't done before. She is IgA deficient.

IgA antibodies are found in mucus and protect us from infections. Recurrent pneumonia is one of the common infections seen in people with a of deffiency of the IgA. Those people that get infections may have to stay on antibiotics for longer then usual also, which would be why Miss L ends up staying in the hospital for so long when she gets sick.

There is no cure or treatment for IgA deficiency. The plan of action the dr gave us is to get a nebulizer for our house and medications. As soon as Miss L starts to get sick, even a little runny nose, cough, watery eyes, any sign of a cold, we start the nebulizer treatments. Because her body can't fight the infections as well as a healthy person, it is important that we don't let her get sick.

He also tested for 2 other immunoglobins. Both are a little more rare to be deficient in, and both are a little more serious. They are IgG and IgM. For the life of me I can't remember which was which right now, but one of them came back on the low side. The normal range is 30-60 and hers was 30. He said this isn't anything to worry about right now, but it was still a little upsetting to hear.

We will go back in 6 months to see how everything is going and to repeat her labs. He wants to make sure her numbers aren't dropping, and hopefully they will actually be going up. Crossing our fingers for good news in 6 months :)

Do you know anyone with an immunoglobin deficiency?

Help Me Get My 50

I have been stuck at 29 followers for a while now, and while I do love the 29 of you, I would really like to boost it up a little :) My goal? 50 followers (for now anyways!).

Source

Here's the deal. You refer someone to my blog and they "follow" me. That person comments on THIS post that you (they must put your name/user name/blog) referred them, and you both get entered into a drawing. The more people you refer that follow me, obviously the more times you get entered into the drawing. Same goes for the person you referred - they can refer others to get entered more times.

Pretty simple! So... Ready... Set... GO! 

Monday

Monday is going to be a big day for us.

First, MIL is having her lumpectomy. It is an outpatient surgery, which is nice for her and us! Please pray for the surgeons to get be successful and for MIL to heal quickly.

Also, we are finally getting to see someone about why Miss L has gotten pneumonia twice, ended up in the hospital both times, and why her oxygen gets so low and its so hard to get back up to a good percent. I really hope this dr can give us some answers and possibly some solutions so it won't happen again. So I'll ask you to also pray for that!

Abortion and Miscarriage

Someone posted this link to an amazing blog post about miscarriage and abortions. Please take a minute to read it. It is so very true, written perfectly, and really touches my heart in a special place.

There isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't think about the baby we lost, who it would be today, who it would become, and what our lives would be like had it lived. I do count it as one of my children, and feel like I am a mother of 4.

Guess Who's Pregnant

I'm sure you all just clicked on this thinking I was going to say me, but rest assured, I'm not pregnant again! Nope, not this time. This time, its my sister Dee!!!!

I am so ecstatic! It was a surprise for them, and for me to find out! Dee never really wanted kids, so we all figured she would never have them. She is going to be an amazing mom though, and I cannot WAIT to be an aunt! Its a little dream come true :)

Sorry for the short burst of a post, but I had to get it out cuz of how excited I am!