I have to apologize. The days of the first couple weeks really ran together and felt like one long, never ending day.
Peanut's heart US was actually on day 2, Sunday. The oncall pediatrician briefly went over the results with us. He didn't really go into detail though, and I think that M and I were so sleep deprived, we didn't ask many questions, or understand much. The only thing we cared about that day was that they were taking Peanut off her machines, and she could finally come into our room!
It felt so good to be able to sit in the privacy of our room and hold our daughter. On Monday, we got her pictures done by the lady that comes to the hospital and does them. Another chest X-ray was done taht day too, and it came back good. Because it was the first day her actual pediatrician got to see her, he didn't want to discharge her yet. To be on the safe and more comfortable side, he wanted her to stay at the hospital one more day. I was discharged, but luckily our hospital lets you "board" for no charge if your baby has to stay, so that is what M and I did.
On Tuesday, before they would dishcarge Peanut, they took her blood. Her billi levels came back high, and they put her on lights. Her sodium and chloride also came back high. I still don't know what those high levels indicate, or can cause, but I do know its not good. Fortunately though, they let us go home, with lights to set up at our house.
The first 2 weeks "home" were spent at either the hospital or the pediatrician's office. Peanut had TONS of blood draws to check everything they can possible check with blood. Her little feet looked like hamburger they had been poked so many times. When they needed a bunch of blood for labs though, they took it out of her head. I can't explain how horrible it is to see a group of nurses around your child with syringes stuck in her head.
It took almost a whole week for her billi levels to come down enough to be able to take her off the lights. Her sodium and chloride weren't coming down though, and she dropped down to 6 lbs 2 oz, which was over the "normal" amount of weight loss for infants. We had to start supplementing her with formula, which was the final straw for me and I had a breakdown in the kitchen. I am lucky to have M, who has been so supportive, even though all this was taking its toll on him too (he lost over 10 lbs!).
On one of the blurred days during this 2 wks, we went to see a heart specialist who works with Seattle Children's Hospital. This was the day of good news (finally) for us. Her sodium and chloride levels came down that day into range, still on the high side, but at least in range. They did an US on her heart again, and found 2 holes. One is between the lower 2 chambers, the other between the upper 2. This sounds super scary, and can be, but her's are small. The Dr was very optimistic that they will actually close on their own, and even if they don't, they shouldn't give her any troubles. We can definitaly live with that!
This was all such a relief and we were certain that we were out of the woods with Peanut's issues. And we pretty much were until week 3.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Day 1
M and I couldn't stand to be in our room without Peanut, so we spent the first day down in her NICU room. We got to hold her and kiss and cuddle her, which was so amazing. Things were looking better, and the nurses were slowly trying to lower her oxygen and get her to breath completely on her own. They had her almost off when she had another episode.
Her oxygen dropped a ton, she started to turn blue, and didn't want to breath on her own. They had to take her from us and turn up her oxygen again. We didn't get to hold her after that, which was one of the worst things. It broke our hearts to have to sit and look at her laying there all hooked up to wires.
They did an X-Ray on her chest to check her lungs, and then brought in US. For hours (ok, probably not really, but it really felt like it!), they looked at her heart. Unfortunately, they wouldn't tell us anything. So we sat, staring at the US screen, being completely lost at what we were looking at.
After the US was done, one of the nurses told us that there were a couple things they saw in the US that weren't right, but weren't HUGE issues. One was a valve that hadn't closed yet, but they said that sometimes they don't right away. The other was a small hole between 2 chambers. It wasn't huge though so they didn't seem too worried about it. All the US pictures got sent to the heart specialist to have him look them over. We would know more once he had a chance to go over them.
So we spent day 1 sitting and wondering and waiting and staring at Peanut. Pumpkin came to the hospital and got to see his new baby sister. He was pretty excited but didn't want to just sit in one room and stare at her, so he didn't stay long. M and I didn't want to just have to sit and stare either, but we hated to sit in our room without her, so sit and stare we did.
The nurses woke me that night every time she was ready to feed, and for her first bath. They were still working on trying to lower her oxygen, but she had to stay in the NICU for that first night, and into the next day with hopes that we would get to go home on Monday.
Her oxygen dropped a ton, she started to turn blue, and didn't want to breath on her own. They had to take her from us and turn up her oxygen again. We didn't get to hold her after that, which was one of the worst things. It broke our hearts to have to sit and look at her laying there all hooked up to wires.
They did an X-Ray on her chest to check her lungs, and then brought in US. For hours (ok, probably not really, but it really felt like it!), they looked at her heart. Unfortunately, they wouldn't tell us anything. So we sat, staring at the US screen, being completely lost at what we were looking at.
After the US was done, one of the nurses told us that there were a couple things they saw in the US that weren't right, but weren't HUGE issues. One was a valve that hadn't closed yet, but they said that sometimes they don't right away. The other was a small hole between 2 chambers. It wasn't huge though so they didn't seem too worried about it. All the US pictures got sent to the heart specialist to have him look them over. We would know more once he had a chance to go over them.
So we spent day 1 sitting and wondering and waiting and staring at Peanut. Pumpkin came to the hospital and got to see his new baby sister. He was pretty excited but didn't want to just sit in one room and stare at her, so he didn't stay long. M and I didn't want to just have to sit and stare either, but we hated to sit in our room without her, so sit and stare we did.
The nurses woke me that night every time she was ready to feed, and for her first bath. They were still working on trying to lower her oxygen, but she had to stay in the NICU for that first night, and into the next day with hopes that we would get to go home on Monday.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Surprise
Miss me?! Sorry I have been absent for so long, a few things have come up. We have had a LOT of dr appts, we are fighting a never ending cold, my computer cord got cut in M's recliner (so I am actually on my mom's computer right now!), and.... Peanut arrived!
I went to my weekly check on Thursday, February 16, at 37 wks 4 days. I was measuring 41 wks though, and was in a LOT of pain. As my hips started to separate to get ready for birth, my sciatica got pinched, and I couldn't walk. Because of my HUGE size and pain, Dr K called Labor and Delivery, and set me up for an induction the following Wednesday, February 22. On Tuesday I was to go in for an US to check Peanut's size. If she was measuring big, Dr K was thinking of doing a C-section. I was also supposed to go see Dr K and she was going to check my cervix and make sure it was good enough to have the induction if we didn't do C-section. I was so excited when I left, we had a date for our baby! And I could spend the weekend getting ready, painting toenails, cooking and freezing some meals, doing any cleaning that I could possibly think of, and possibly go out one last time to dinner with M, just the 2 of us. Well, none of that happened.
Because M had been going into work super early all week to get some overtime, I thought I would be a nice wife and sleep on the couch on Friday night. I was so uncomfortable anyways, that the couch was a little better because I could sit up more. Plus, I didn't snore as bad sitting up, so we both could sleep a little sounder :) Well, that didn't last long! I got up at around 1:00 AM with really bad cramps. I felt like I was going to get sick, and went to the bathroom to try and make myself take a poo. I finally was able to take a little one, but the cramping didn't stop. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me, but as the pain got worse and more persistent, I knew something was going on. I went into our bedroom and woke up M, telling him I thought I might be in labor. He asked me to lay day saying it might help me, but I knew I couldn't. I decided to call Dr K. If I wasn't in labor, then something else was going on and she needed to know. She told me to go ahead and go into L&D. M and I got ready really quick, brushing our teeth and grabbing our bag, and headed out.
Of course, it decided to start to snow. And lots of big flakes! The drive into town was slower than normal due to the snow, and M being scared that every car we passed was a drunk driver (bars had just closed!). We finally made it to L&D at about 3:00 AM and I made my way inside. The pain wasn't letting up at all and I felt the constant need to poop. But I walked to the room, got my pants off and up on the bed. The nurse came in to check me and was beyond surprised to find that I was 100% effaced and 9 cm dilated!
They called for an epidural, but it wasn't going to make it. Dr K wasn't even there, and I had to push. I kept telling the nurse that I didn't because I REALLY wanted the drugs, but soon I couldn't deny it. I can't even explain the pain I was in. I thought I was going to throw up it hurt so bad. I was hot and tingly. My face felt numb. I didn't think I could do it, that I might actually break in half. But I did it. My water broke on its own, and I kept pushing and screaming and clenching M's hand. Peanut's head was right there when Dr K arrived. She gave me an episiotomy, and finished delivering Peanut.
At 3:23 AM (it felt like so much longer than 23 minutes!) on Saturday, February 18 (Pumpkin's original due date!), little Peanut was born, weighing 7 lbs and measuring 19 inches long. They lifted her up so we could see her, and she was blue. She didn't make a sound. They didn't let M cut the cord, they didn't lay her on my chest. Instead they cut the cord and took her over to the little table and started to work on her. It felt like hours that I lay there with them working on our little girl. They kept telling us that everything was ok, but we knew it wasn't. They wouldn't let us take pictures of her, there were no sounds coming from the table, and all the nurses and Dr K were huddled around. Finally they brought her over to me, let me give her a kiss, and then took her to NICU.
I then got to deliver my placenta and get my stitches, but I really wanted to see my daughter. They wouldn't let us though, and no one was telling us anything. We had to sit in the delivery room and wait. It was the longest scariest time ever. My nurse finally decided it was ok to take us down to see her. M wheeled me down to the NICU and there was our little girl, all hooked up to machines. They told us that she wasn't breathing when she came out, and they had to bag her (breath for her) for 3 minutes, and then had to assist her for another 4 minutes. She still wasn't breathing right and had to be on oxygen. We were able to finally get to hold her though, and it was so wonderful!
Here is our little girl in the NICU, hooked up to her oxygen and other machines.
I wish I could say that things went smoothly after that, but unfortunately they didn't, it was just the beginning.
I went to my weekly check on Thursday, February 16, at 37 wks 4 days. I was measuring 41 wks though, and was in a LOT of pain. As my hips started to separate to get ready for birth, my sciatica got pinched, and I couldn't walk. Because of my HUGE size and pain, Dr K called Labor and Delivery, and set me up for an induction the following Wednesday, February 22. On Tuesday I was to go in for an US to check Peanut's size. If she was measuring big, Dr K was thinking of doing a C-section. I was also supposed to go see Dr K and she was going to check my cervix and make sure it was good enough to have the induction if we didn't do C-section. I was so excited when I left, we had a date for our baby! And I could spend the weekend getting ready, painting toenails, cooking and freezing some meals, doing any cleaning that I could possibly think of, and possibly go out one last time to dinner with M, just the 2 of us. Well, none of that happened.
Because M had been going into work super early all week to get some overtime, I thought I would be a nice wife and sleep on the couch on Friday night. I was so uncomfortable anyways, that the couch was a little better because I could sit up more. Plus, I didn't snore as bad sitting up, so we both could sleep a little sounder :) Well, that didn't last long! I got up at around 1:00 AM with really bad cramps. I felt like I was going to get sick, and went to the bathroom to try and make myself take a poo. I finally was able to take a little one, but the cramping didn't stop. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me, but as the pain got worse and more persistent, I knew something was going on. I went into our bedroom and woke up M, telling him I thought I might be in labor. He asked me to lay day saying it might help me, but I knew I couldn't. I decided to call Dr K. If I wasn't in labor, then something else was going on and she needed to know. She told me to go ahead and go into L&D. M and I got ready really quick, brushing our teeth and grabbing our bag, and headed out.
Of course, it decided to start to snow. And lots of big flakes! The drive into town was slower than normal due to the snow, and M being scared that every car we passed was a drunk driver (bars had just closed!). We finally made it to L&D at about 3:00 AM and I made my way inside. The pain wasn't letting up at all and I felt the constant need to poop. But I walked to the room, got my pants off and up on the bed. The nurse came in to check me and was beyond surprised to find that I was 100% effaced and 9 cm dilated!
They called for an epidural, but it wasn't going to make it. Dr K wasn't even there, and I had to push. I kept telling the nurse that I didn't because I REALLY wanted the drugs, but soon I couldn't deny it. I can't even explain the pain I was in. I thought I was going to throw up it hurt so bad. I was hot and tingly. My face felt numb. I didn't think I could do it, that I might actually break in half. But I did it. My water broke on its own, and I kept pushing and screaming and clenching M's hand. Peanut's head was right there when Dr K arrived. She gave me an episiotomy, and finished delivering Peanut.
At 3:23 AM (it felt like so much longer than 23 minutes!) on Saturday, February 18 (Pumpkin's original due date!), little Peanut was born, weighing 7 lbs and measuring 19 inches long. They lifted her up so we could see her, and she was blue. She didn't make a sound. They didn't let M cut the cord, they didn't lay her on my chest. Instead they cut the cord and took her over to the little table and started to work on her. It felt like hours that I lay there with them working on our little girl. They kept telling us that everything was ok, but we knew it wasn't. They wouldn't let us take pictures of her, there were no sounds coming from the table, and all the nurses and Dr K were huddled around. Finally they brought her over to me, let me give her a kiss, and then took her to NICU.
I then got to deliver my placenta and get my stitches, but I really wanted to see my daughter. They wouldn't let us though, and no one was telling us anything. We had to sit in the delivery room and wait. It was the longest scariest time ever. My nurse finally decided it was ok to take us down to see her. M wheeled me down to the NICU and there was our little girl, all hooked up to machines. They told us that she wasn't breathing when she came out, and they had to bag her (breath for her) for 3 minutes, and then had to assist her for another 4 minutes. She still wasn't breathing right and had to be on oxygen. We were able to finally get to hold her though, and it was so wonderful!
Here is our little girl in the NICU, hooked up to her oxygen and other machines.
I wish I could say that things went smoothly after that, but unfortunately they didn't, it was just the beginning.
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