Shit Just Got Real

I took Pumpkin to his first day of 1st grade yesterday. WOW. 1st grade. That's like real school now.

To be honest, I think it was harder this year than last. Kindergarten is still young and yes, they are at school, but with 2 snack times and a nap time. Still not quite "real" to me. 1st grade though? Real. Grown up. I might have shed a little tear as I watched him walk down the path towards the building with his Ninja Turtle backpack on. (Yes, that's right, I don't even walk him in anymore!!!!)

So, since he is all grown up now, he needs a more grown up nickname. Pumpkin was what I called him when he was a baby, and my baby is missing somewhere. Luckily this super cute lil dude replaced him :) Any suggestions on a new nickname for him???

Life Paths

Last Friday night I was talking to my best friend from high school. It was a typical Friday night for me... trying to get LL to eat her veggies, which she hates and just spits everywhere. Like EVERYWHERE. I don't understand how it can end up in my hair... Anyways. Typical Friday night. Feeding LL, keeping an eye on Miss L so she doesn't go behind the recliner and poop in her underwear and as we are in the midst of potty training hell, and Pumpkin laying around because his throat was hurting and it wasn't quite time for his next set of meds. She asked me what my plans where for the weekend... again typical things. Staying home as much as possible because of potty training and Pumpkin not feeling well, probably heading into town at some point for groceries, and M and I had a  movie night planned complete with popcorn. Her? Finishing packing to travel half way around the world to do some work with kids, climb a mountain, and visit a friend she had made when she studied abroad.

Isn't it crazy how different people's lives are? Here I am, married with 4 kids, working a full-time job, spending my "free time" grocery shopping, and she is traveling around with her boyfriend when she is on break from college. It made me think of what I might be doing if I hadn't chosen the life path that I did.

I think I would be done with school by now. Oh God I hope I would be anyways! And maybe I would live in a different town... nothing to big or crazy like New York, but maybe Las Vegas, with my sisters. Or even closer to home, but a couple hours away. Or maybe I would go crazy and be in Boston, cuz I have always wanted to go there. And I would have a cute little apartment for me and my dog. Every day on my walk to work I would stop and get a latte and sip it in silence. On the weekends when I wasn't going out with friends to clubs or concerts or sport events, I would take long, hot, bubble baths and read a good book and sip wine. I would get my nails and hair done regularly, and take time to put cute outfits together and do my makeup. My girlfriends and I would do random fun things, like speed dating, and try out new restaurants. I wouldn't be tied down or held back by anything other than my dog and job.

But then I look at my life, and the path I have chosen, and I am filled with so much love and contentment. My days may be filled with poopy diapers and off the wall kids, but they are also filled with slobbery kisses and belly laughs. I might not get to sit and relax in a hot bubble bath, but I get to watch LL get so excited at kicking and splashing in the water. And I may not get to go out with with friends on the weekend to do random exciting things, but I get to sit in the comfort of my house, cuddled up next to my loving husband.

I don't regret the life path I have chosen at all. Sure there are some things here and there that I would like to change, but I am so completely happy with where I am at and who is here with me.

I'm An AUNT!!!

I wanted to post this yesterday, but the internet was down :(

I'M AN AUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Words can't express how excited I am! And super sad that I can't see my new little niece being that they live in a different state and I have no extra money to get a plane ticket right now... donations...?

My niece MM was born on Wednesday at 1:07 in the afternoon weighing in at 6 lbs 11 oz and 18 1/2" long. She is beautiful, possibly looking much like her aunt, and doing well.

Now if I could just get down there to giver her some auntie snuggles all would be well in the world!

Lies

Please tell me I am not the only horrible mother who lies to her children... anyone? You...?

Maybe it does make me a bad mom, but sometimes I think certain situations warrant lying. I'm not talking about Santa, the Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy either. I'm talking about everyday things. For example: Batteries.

I'm pretty sure all the toy companies got together and plotted out how to drive parents insanely crazy by repetitive, annoying toys. I'm also pretty sure that no person who comes up with said toys have children. If they did I would put money down that they would not be making toys with noise. Of course when my kids first get a new annoying toy that makes noise, I put batteries in. I let them enjoy it while I try not to pull my hair out and end up in the looney bin signing the same song over. and. over. Once that toys batteries die though... we no longer have any new batteries in the house. None. Anywhere. That pack that I recently bought to replace the old batteries in the TV remote? All gone. In fact, we are so short on batteries that I just might have to steal some out of a different toy to replace the ones in the alarm clock, even though it plugs in.

Maybe tomorrow. I use this phrase a lot. Maybe too much. But I can't possibly drive into town everyday to get ice cream. Or buy a toy. Or see Nana and Papa. Or go to the movie. Or play at the park. You understand? My kid's have an agenda that has no limits. If I did everything that they wanted to do, I would be even more broke then I already am. So I tell them "maybe tomorrow". Sadly, tomorrow never comes. But give them a day, and they have forgotten about it and moved onto something else that is more reasonable, like jumping on the tramp.

The neighbor isn't home. Although I just got off the phone with her and she is sitting on her couch. I love that my kids love our neighbors and want to play with them all the time, but that doesn't mean they want us there all the time. I swear Pumpkin would live there if I let him! While I do let him go to the neighbor's often, there are sometimes when I just have to lie and tell him they aren't home. This saves from the argument of why he can't go and him getting mad at me for not letting him. If they aren't home, I don't have to be the mean mom that said no for no "good" reason.

You love (insert food item here). I have found that kids have short memories, especially with unimportant things like food. Typically I cook the same things, but every once in awhile I add something new to the mix. Sometimes the kids love it, other times they don't. If they don't, and I end up making it again, I tell them they do. Normally this actually works and they will end up eating it. I have to lie and tell them they liked it last time though, otherwise they pick at it and refuse to eat anything. Its not like a cook really weird, gross things either. Eating a potato in a different form isn't going to make you sick.

I try to be very honest and open with my kids. Sometimes though, I think that lying is necessary, if only to save my sanity and a fight. I don't feel like my lies are hurting anybody either. So please tell me that I am not a truly horrible person/mother for lying to my kids!

Do you lie to your kids? What about?

T&A

Pumpkin had his tonsils and adenoids taken out last week. He was really excited to have the surgery done because he knew that he would get to eat all the Jello and ice cream he wanted. Afterwards.... he wasn't so excited :(

Actually, when we first got home he told me he wanted to have it done again because he liked the mask they put on him to make him fall asleep, he said it made him feel like he was floating! It made me feel better that they give him the mask to put him out before even giving him his IV. I was really worried at how he would handle the IV. Also, they put it in his foot, so he didn't really even notice it when he woke up from surgery.

I almost cried before and especially after surgery though. Knowing that I was going to be putting him through pain hurt me so much. And seeing how out of it and how much pain he was in when he first woke up broke my heart. I remember getting mine done when I was in high school, and that pain was so horrible!!!!

He has been doing pretty good though. He is still taking meds for pain everyday, but not nearly as much as he was, and his energy is coming back some. I wonder how much of his "pain" is wanting to sit in the rocker and watch cartoon on the iPad too ;) Right now I don't really care though and am letting him. It has only been a week, and its way too hot and smokey to go outside anyways.

Cookies

LL and I have been nursing for 7 months strong now!!! I am so excited to have been able to do this for this long, and am really hoping that we can continue for up to a year. We have had a little issue arise lately though... tooth #2.

Can you see the little devil in there?

Luckily I didn't have a break down with this tooth like I did last time, but this one has definitely been giving me grief. LL has decided to start biting. And not just biting, but biting and then pulling my nipple through her sharp little razor teeth. To the point that she has actually made me bleed. Not fun for me, although she always gets this little smirk on her face after she does it like she thoroughly enjoyed it.

So to combat the biting, I thought maybe I should try to boost my supply. Maybe if she was getting a TON of milk at once, she wouldn't feel the need to mess around and wreck havoc on my nips. Awesomely enough, I work with a lady who used to own a bakery and she has a super good, super secret, milk cookie recipe that she very sweetly gave me! The best part of it was M's reaction when he saw it sitting on the counter... "You are making cookies out of your breastmilk?!" Yes honey, just trying to save us some money ;)

Miss L decided to be my cookie baking helper and we spent the afternoon whipping them up. Because the temp here has been insanely hot (think 90's), I stuck the dough in the fridge and waited until the next morning to bake them. Or what was left of them! The dough was so dang good that every time I walked by I grabbed a little bit! And man oh man, the cookies are even better, if that's actually possible. I wish I could share the recipe with you cuz they are so delicious, but sworn to secrecy over here :) So instead I will share a couple pics of my baking buddy and me.

To be honest, I can't really tell if my supply is up at all or not. When I am at work at night I am still pumping about the same amount, but considering that I haven't been nursing as often since we started solids, I would think that means my production is up a little... But I do know that our biting issue isn't as bad anymore! It may be the cookies, or maybe she has just realized that I am not chew toy, but I only get a couple nibbles out of her now. And I will gladly take the nibbles over vampire baby.

Being Selfish

You know how I said in my last post that my sister Dee got married? Well, she did, and they eloped! She called me on a Monday morning and told me that they were staying in this fancy place and the JP was coming that afternoon to marry them!

It wasn't really that big of a surprise to tell you the truth. We all knew it was coming. Dee is due to have my little niece at the end of August, and they wanted to be married before the baby came. They were going to plan a wedding and everything beforehand, but it got to be too much and too stressful, so they decided to have it be just the 2 of them.

Aren't they such a cute couple?! They are planning a vow renewal for next summer up here in our hometown. I am so glad that they are doing that because, I'm selfish, and I want to see my sister get married! I'm totally getting screwed out of the chance to be a bridesmaid, as she isn't going to have them, so I want to at least get to see them make the commitment to each other. I love weddings, even if the people are already married :)

Our other sister, Reece, is getting married next year too! She was planning on having her wedding at a vineyard, but after much stress, her and her fiance have decided to elope too... to France.

I know I should be just be so excited that my sisters are both getting married and everything, but COME ON! I want to be in a damn wedding! And they are my sisters! I want to be there and see it and be a part of it! The wedding is not about me, but about the 2 people getting married, but I feel like I am getting screwed!

To be completely honest I am a little hurt and sad that I won't get to see my sisters get married, other then the selfish part of me. A wedding and marriage is such a beautiful thing that I love to go to and see no matter who it is. But when its your sister, you really want to be there. This is one of their big life moments, and I don't get to witness it.

Enough with the pity party! I will put my big girl panties on and be happy for my sisters and be thankful that I don't have to give a speech in front of a bunch of people!

My Last Name

Call me old fashion, but when a woman marries a man, she takes his last name. In my mind, she becomes his wife, his family. When M and I got married I was very excited to become an "S" (even though my maiden name starts with an "S" too!). We were now 1, not 2 separate people. We would have our family and we would all by unified by our last name. And when our girls grow up and get married, they will someday leave our family and join their husbands and start their own family with their new last name.

My oldest sister Dee just recently got married! WOOHOO!!!! I am so excited for her! BUT, she isn't changing her last name. I know it really isn't any of my business, but it really bugs me! I think it is right and respectful to take her husband's last name. Plus, they have a baby on the way, who will have his last name, so wouldn't she want them all to have the same?

Dee does work for a very big, very well known, internet company as a blogger. Her name on there is obviously her maiden name. I told her that professionally, with her company, she could stay an "S", but legally, she should change it to her husband's last name, "M".

What are your thoughts on last names? Should a woman change her name to her husband's when they get married, or does it not really matter?