Paris

I went to Paris.

Reece and her mister, MD, planned on getting married in Paris. They paid for my parents to go, and that was it. About a month before they were supposed to leave, MD sent Dee and I a text asking if he paid, would we be able to go. Ummm..... let me think about that one... A free trip to Paris to see my sister get married.... YES!

So that was it. We rushed our passports, quickly planned, and were on our way!

Reece had no idea we were coming. We arrived on Sunday and had the day to explore. Dee was pretty tired from jet lag (thank goodness I work nights so it was no biggie to me!), so we just walked around the area by our hotel, which was super close to the Eiffel Tower, then went back and relaxed.

Monday we got up, got ready, and headed to a cafe to "run into" Reece. We were sitting at a little table outside, drinking wine and eating cheese, cuz we are in Paris after all, when Reece, MD, and my parents walked down the street. MD told Reece they should sit and have something to eat and suggested the spot right next to me. She told him no (there were people sitting right there!), to which I told her they could sit, it was ok. She looked at me and said that's ok but thank you and looked away. After a pause she looked back and stared. I smiled huge and got up and said hey! She was in so much disbelief! It was so perfect and amazing.

We spent the rest of the day walking around seeing the city and went to the Louvre and saw the Mona Lisa!

That night we did a dinner cruise. It was really cool to see the city that way too. All along the river, there were people sitting out drinking wine, having picnics, and playing music. No one works past 5, and nothing opens until 10. The French know how to live! They are so relaxed and just live and love life.

Reece wore the dress my mom got married in on the cruise and looked so beautiful.

Tuesday was spent getting ready for the wedding. Reece had a make-up artist and hairdresser come in and do her up. He did an amazing job, not that it takes much. The wedding was in a garden and it was so cute cuz there were all these little kids watching and the little girls were convinced that she was a princess and wanted to talk to her so badly (which Reece did say hi to them :) ). I wish so badly that I could post a ton of pictures of the wedding, but hopefully it is going to be published and then I can share it that way ;) But here is one picture that her photographer took of her and posted...

My sister is amazingly gorgeous.

The trip and wedding was awesome. I am so glad that I was able to go and be with my family. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

House

M and I had our house built right before we got married. It was just us and Mr K, and our 3 bedroom, 2 bath house was perfect. Add 2 more kids into the mix, and a mom that has to drive across the valley to babysit for us 2x a week, and we quickly have learned that we need more room. So we decided to put our house up for sale.

It hit the market today, we had 3 showings and an offer of full asking price in less than 12 hours. Wow. I never imagined it would sell so quickly! I am super excited that it did go quickly and we don't have to sit and wait, but part of me is really sad.

This is our house. We brought home all our kids to this house. I redid the master bathroom so nicely, and it is large, along with the walk-in closet. Our  new floors are gorgeous and M did an amazing job on the hearth for our fireplace. I don't want to leave those things behind!

We did find a house we really liked and put an offer in on it though. Our concern is that it has a sand point well, which I don't know much about. If we had to put a real well in it though, that could cost up to $15,000! Hoping that isn't the case.

This new house is much larger. The master bath is TINY. Single shower. No vanity counter top. The yard is great. Big mature trees surround the property on 3 sides. And we would only be about 5 minutes from our parents. And close to town, but still out of city limits.

I'm hoping it all works out and we are able to get this other house, but I am trying not to get to excited. If not we will have to possibly get a rental for awhile until something else opens up.

I am totally still in shock at how quickly our house went though, and that we weren't even offered less. Wow.

A Letter To My 16-Year-Old Self

Dear 16-year-old me:

You are beautiful. Your hair is gorgeous, body is amazing, but mostly your brain is magnificent. Do  not underestimate what it is capable of.

Pay attention in school. I know you do well, but I also know you don't put in much effort. You are going to wish you could recall some of this chemistry and French shit someday. So pay attention. Try to retain it a little more.

Ditch the boy. I know you think he is the world, but he's not. In fact, he is actually keeping you from the world. There is so much more to high school then him. Your girlfriends need you, and you them. There are a lot of experiences you will miss out on that you wish you could go back and do, if you stick with him. Plus, he turns out to be kind of a loser and you break up anyways, so its better now then in 3 years after he has turned violent and you are stuck in North Dakota.

Have fun. The worries you have now you aren't even going to remember later in life. Everything falls into place and turns out pretty spectacular, so have fun. Go to those parties and do those crazy things. You only get one chance at it, so take every opportunity you can and have fun.

Slow down. Enjoy this time and everything about it. Life moves so damn fast. It may seem like its taking forever, but trust me, I can't even think of where the years have gone. Live in this moment and don't rush things. They all happen when they should and work out without you trying to rush them.

Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Like I said, you are beautiful, inside and out. Its really OK if you don't live up to what you think the world expects of you. You are you and you are perfect at it. So relax.

Love your chunkier, saggier boobed, more forgetful, older self

Allergy Testing

Mr K has had a pink eye for months. But not pink eye! There was no matting or any other symptoms to suggest pink eye, but his eye would not clear up so I took him to the dr. They tried 2 different eye drops to try and get it to clear, but they didn't work. They wanted to send us to an eye dr to see if there was a different med that would be better, but I asked to have allergy testing done first. Allergies are in our family and it has been that time of year.

So Mr K got to endure allergy testing!

Turns out the poor kid is allergic to grass! He has to do a nasal spray (that might actually help with his constant, horrible nose bleeds and huge boogers) and eye drops if he is going to be outside a lot. He also cannot have the dog sleep in his room anymore (during the warmer months) and we have to keep his window shut. This last one is hard because, even though he is only 7, he smells like a grown man. I don't understand it, his room just has this odor despite being clean and all the laundry done!

Anyways. He has taken this like a champ and likes to tell anyone and everyone that he is allergic to grass :)

Asthma

We were attempting to wean Miss L off some of her meds, and had missed a couple doses of her inhaler. The sound of her gasping and wheezing woke us in the middle of the night. She was having her first official asthma attack.

I cannot even begin to explain the horrid sounds that your child make when they can't breathe. My blood ran cold and my heart stopped. 911 crossed my mind but I figured I could get her to the ER faster then waiting for them to come all the way out to our house and then back in, so I quickly threw on sweats, grabbed her and raced into town. By the time we got the ER she was breathing better, thank God, but I still had her checked out.

They gave her 2 nebulizer treatments and took x-rays of her chest. She had a little fluid in her lungs, but not enough to diagnose pneumonia and her since her oxygen levels remained high enough we were able to go home after a couple hours.

Miss L is continuing on her daily inhaler 2x a day and now has a rescue inhaler in case of another attack. I pray we never have to use it.

Birthday #3

I had way too much fun with Miss L's birthday this year. She is really into Sophia The First, so we went with that for her theme. We only had a couple friends come to the house, along with our families, so it was small and sweet, and she had a blast.

Her cake turned out much better!

For a snack I made "magic wands": pretzel sticks dipped in white chocolate. The kids helped me make them :)

"Clover's Veggie Patch" pizza was the main food

To drink was "Princess Punch"

The kids seemed to have a lot of fun

 And our little girl is 3! Getting so big and pretty... which she asks all the time if she is ;)

Birthday #2

Remember me? Probably not, so sorry. I'm going to pick up right where I left though!

Mr K is at the age now that he wants to have his friends stay the night. So for his birthday he got to have 2 friends come over and have a sleep over. They had happy meals for dinner (birthday boy's choice) and I made a pretty sweet Batman cake that was camo inside, and I would never recommend to anyone. It was a box cake and seemed super easy, but completely crumbled when you tried to cut it. It looked so gross that the kids didn't even touch it :/ Not saying that my Bat symbol turned out to be anything to talk about either though...

Being the horrible mom that I am, I really didn't take many pictures! I mean, honestly, I can't be that embarrassing mom who is taking a million pics of them playing Xbox or make a fort or eating... I did get to sneak a few in though.

This looked SO much better in my head!

I love that Mr K is getting to the age of real friends and sleep overs, but it sure does make me sad that he is growing so fast. Seriously, where have the last 7 years gone?!?!

Birthday #1

I am drowning in birthdays. It starts in December and doesn't end until the end of March and I can't keep up!!!!

December 8 - Dad in law
December 25 - Christ
December 29 - LL
January 25 - Reece
February 9 - Lil Mr K
February 10 - M
February 18 - Miss L
February 25 - Sis in law
March 7 - Dee
March 23 - Mom in law

Help me. Please. Just send me a big box of crap that I can gift so I don't have to think about it... or break my bank anymore!

LL's first birthday was a blast though, as stressful as it was. I think it may have been more stressful since my sisters and brother in laws were in town and were all there... more pressure to make it good.

We spent the day sledding. Dee and my mom didn't come because of Dee's baby, but everyone else did. And it was awesome! So much fun to sled. And to make it better it snowed these really huge, gorgeous, snow flakes the entire time. It was beautiful.

After sledding we went to my parents' house. M's family came over and we ordered pizza. The lady that was going to make a cake for me backed out, so I made a small smash one and then we bought a large one from Costco for everyone else. I got some cheap decorations from Target and did my best to throw together a cute little party. Sorry LL, the 3rd child really does get the shit end of the stick, but I am trying! 

To be honest, she really didn't care. She got to dig into her cake... playing with it more then anything... and open lots of presents (with the help of her siblings). It was just nice to have everyone together celebrating her.

She lights up our life. I couldn't imagine not having her. We are so blessed and I was so happy to share her day with our family, enjoying each other and God's beautiful gifts.

2 Years

Its been 2 years (and week) since Baby S passed away. I can't believe that much time has already gone by. It still feels like yesterday. The pain is still so real, and my baby floods my mind daily. I wonder if there will ever be a time that I don't think about it. Truthfully, I figured that after 2 years it wouldn't be an every day thought, but yet it still is. And if I let myself think to much about it, I still cry.

The memory of it all, the heartbreak, the pain, the emptiness inside, is all to real right now as I am mourning the loss of my friends baby that she delivered yesterday at just 20 weeks. A couple days ago she posted how she felt him move, and now he is gone. I saw my baby's heart beating away, and little limbs wiggling about, and then it was gone.

Having experienced a loss myself I thought I would be better at consoling her, but I am not. I almost can't even try for fear that I will let myself slip back to the place of devastation. I find that I am jealous that she got 20 weeks with her baby, when I only got 10. That she got to feel the movements, when I only got to see them. That she knew the sex and had a name, when I can only go off a feeling and call "It" Baby S.

I feel so selfish for thinking those thoughts and feeling those feelings. I know the pain she is going through and I want to comfort her. I also know that no matter what I say or do, there is no comfort for a grieving mother.

In A Funk

Sorry I have been MIA. I have wanted to write, but just can't seem to get myself to do it. I have been in a major funk, but feel like I might be coming out of it now.

Holidays were awesome and busy and it was nice to have life return to normal after. I do miss my family, but it gets hectic trying to see everyone and do everything, especially with 3 kids.

I suffer from depression and have taken medication for it for about 10+ years now. My last Dr called it my vitamin :) I normally do really well and have no issues. I did get postpartum, but that happens. Right around LL's birthday though I got pretty depressed again. I have been having a really hard time with the fact that my BABY is ONE. ONE. NOT a baby anymore. It hit me hard, and put me in this weird depressed funk. I'm doing better though, but its still hard to think about and makes me sad that my kids are growing so fast.

We are weaning breastfeeding too, and that has been really hard to handle. I am not ready at all, but my mom and M both think it will make their lives easier as LL is super attached to me and gives them hell when I'm not around. I really cherish our nursing sessions though and it still makes me think of her as a baby and dependent on me, which I am just not ready to give up!

We had a family birthday for LL since my sisters and their families were all in town for Christmas. It was really fun and turned out great. I will give it its own post though :)

So sorry again for being so silent, I am going to try really hard to make myself blog even when I'm not feeling it. Even if its just to say hi.

Happy New Years everyone