Home Makeover

I have been itching to do some improvements on our house lately. Nothing like knocking down walls (although I do have a list of those improvements too...) but simple redecorating to make it feel homey and new. My first project was our master bath.

I wish I had taken pictures before I started, but it totally spaced my mind, so you have to see my belly shots that show my bathroom ;)

Ok, so these pictures totally suck, sorry. But we had a black, white, and red theme going on. Red carpet on the floor and toilet seat, black shower curtain, black/white/red picture of a rose hanging on the wall. And of course some dried roses on the picture on the wall and in a vase next to a red angel on my vanity. I really should have taken pictures beforehand.

I changed my color theme to purple and brown/black. And I LOVE it. I had been drooling over this shower curtain FOREVER, but wouldn't fork out the money for it. Then my mom bought it (little brat!), but my dad hates purple, so she gave it to me (total win)! And I am now in love with my newly decorated bathroom.

When It Becomes "Not Ok"

I have been struggling with my weight. I have these last 10 baby pounds that I CAN. NOT. GET. OFF. It probably doesn't help that I don't actually exercise, or eat health, but I am nursing, and isn't that supposed to burn extra calories???

I have always struggled with my weight. In high school, I outweighed pretty much all of my friends, coming in at a whopping 118. *sigh* I gained weight in college and was mortified when I hit 127. What I wouldn't give to be there again. When I got pregnant this last time, I was heavier, but even that weight sounds so nice right now! I really need to get my ass in gear and do something about it. Although bitching about it is so much easier...

What I want to know though, is when it becomes not ok. Look at babies and little kids. Their chubby little faces and rolly-polly thighs are the CUTEST things ever. So why are they not so cute on me? I have dimples on my butt but you don't see anyone swooning over them. When does our mindset change to think that those things are no longer adorable?

Same with burping and farting. LL lets one go and we all praise her. When I do it, I get looks. Why is it ok for little humans, but not us? Why do we get embarrassed when it happens to us, but kids don't even bat an eye at it?

It would be so much easier if we lived in a world where sausage fingers and passing of gas was perfectly fine. Nobody would ever feel bad about themselves and we would all be on more of an equal playing ground. Instead of making excuses for the fact that my daughter is almost 5 months old and I still have 10 pounds to go, I would just rock them with pride. Just like LL rocks her chubbs :)

Seriously... Those cheeks are to die for

Sleep Regression

See those cute chubby cheeks? And adorable little mouth hung open? That is what a peacefully sleeping baby looks like. Unfortunately, if you want to see one of those around my house lately, you have to look at pictures. LL is tragically going through a 4 month sleep regression.

It started about 2 weeks ago. She used to sleep from around 9 PM until 5:30/6 AM, but lately she has been getting up every 2 hours, or more. M has been the one to the get the worst of it since I have been at work, but trust me, its not easy even when I am there! While I do have the advantage of just being able to pop out a boob and not have to wait for milk to thaw, it still sucks getting up so often. M has been feeding her every time she wakes in hopes that she will fall back asleep and stay sleeping, and the other night, she ate 17 oz!!! I'm thinking after about 8 or so oz she probably had a tummy ache and couldn't sleep!

I did a little internet research on the topic, and they say that around 4 months it is really common for a sleep regression to happen. It has to do with big developmental milestones and basically not being able to turn their minds off long enough to sleep. It totally makes sense too cuz a couple days ago, LL rolled over! She was on her belly doing some tummy time and rolled to her back!

Typically sleep regression lasts 2-6 weeks. I am praying that we are about done with it cuz I can't keep up with 17 oz of milk a night! I also don't know how many more sleepless nights M and I can handle. Once you get used to sleeping all night, getting up is the worst thing ever! If this continues on for another 4 weeks though... I don't even want to think of that, gives me anxiety! Instead I will stare longingly at this picture of my sleeping baby girl and dream of the day (night) that I can take another.

A Nanny Named Fran

We hired a nanny! Unfortunately, her name isn't actually Fran, but how cool would that have been if it was?!

I work night shifts, and have to sleep in the mornings when I get home. The kids obviously can't run wild, so we enlisted the help of our fam. My mom only works half days on Thursdays, and has Fridays off, so she watches the kids for us then. My SIL was watching them for us on Wednesdays. It was awesome having free babysitting, but unfortunately, it wasn't working out with SIL :( She is going to school full time, and working, and looking for a different job, so it was making it pretty difficult. M and I talked about it, and decided that a nanny would be a better option then daycare.

Daycares have their pros, don't get me wrong, but for what we where wanting, it just wasn't for us. We only need 1 day a week, and only for about 5 hours. Plus, Miss L has her immune deficiency, so she really can't be around germs/sick people, which is pretty much the definition of daycare. Also, getting the girls to daycare would be tricky since my sleeping time is limited as it is, and M takes Pumpkin to school and then has to get to work on time. And, I am BF LL. Yes, I know you can send BM to daycare, but typically LL only gets one bottle while I sleep, then I wake and feed her the other times to keep my supply up. So a nanny made sense.

Finding one was the harder part. How do you hire a complete stranger to come into your home and take care of your children? I don't know. Still don't. But we tried a couple things. One thing I did was call the local college and talked to the lady that runs the early childhood development program and asked if she knew of any students that would be willing to do it. Seemed like a good place to start since these kids are going to school for just that. No luck there though. Second I contacted a local nanny agency to see if the could help place a nanny. Of course they could! For $800. Ha! I wish I had that much extra laying around. So last, I did what I thought I would NEVER do. I posted an add on Care.com. Sneaky little site though, if you want to contact any potential nannies, you have to pay. I didn't, but prayed that someone would contact me. And they did! You can only respond to the first person to contact you for free, but that was all we needed. We did get a couple of people interested, but ended up only talking to the first lady and hiring her.

Maybe we should have interviewed a few more, but I really didn't want to pay to even have to respond to them. :/ And truthfully, the first lady was/is amazing! Her first day was today, and everything seemed to go really good! She had great references, our schedules work out good, and she is really sweet and kind and did my dishes and laundry! I think I might love our nanny...

4 Months

I'm back! Not 100% better, but at least I don't feel like I am dying still. M is sick now though, so it hasn't left our family yet for good. It needs to, fast! I am so sick of this cold crap!!!!

LL had her 4 month check up yesterday. Technically, 4 month 2 week, but close enough :) I really CAN NOT believe she is already 4 months. Where in the hell did time go? I swear we were just bringing her home from the hospital :(

She is growing so much! She now weighs 11.6 lbs, putting her in the 5% for weight, and is 23.6", putting her in the 15% for length. Her head is in the 50%! (Sadly, its a family trait).

She's still doll size at 4 months!

I love how small she is, but I do worry that I may not be providing her with enough milk. She nurses until she is full, at least until I think she is full. She never seems fussy or upset when she is done, and she stops herself, I'm not cutting her off or having her give up after fussing. Her dr said I was doing a good job and that she is just petite, like L is. It made me feel a lot better having him reassure me. My pumping has gone down a lot at night, which scares me, but I have to keep in mind that she sleeps through the night, so I normally am not pumping anything. Hard to wrap my head around though, and hard to keep up my supply and freezer stash with my schedule flip flopping so much. Breastfeeding has been so important to me though, and we have made it this far that I don't want to give up! I may talk to my dr about taking something to help give me a boost, but we will see.

And if anyone can figure out how to freeze time and keep my baby girl a baby, I would appreciate it.

Sick

I promise to write soon, but OMG have we been sick. I am going on 2 weeks now, and that's even with meds! Soon, I promise, when I'm not so sick....