Pregnancy is Beautiful

People say when a woman gets pregnant she has a “glow”. They also say that prenatal vitamins are great for your hair and nails. The “glow” is purely an opinion, but there is supposed to be science behind the hair and nails. Unless you are me.

I don’t glow. I sweat, but I don’t think you can count that as a glow. My bright red zits covering my face, neck, chest and back might give off a glow, but I don’t think that is exactly what they are talkin about either. I wish I had a glow about me. I have always been jealous of those cute pregnant ladies that totally own it. They are rockin their pre-pregnancy pants, long shiny hair blowing behind them as the walk, illuminating every place they go in to. Unfortunately for me, the only thing blowing behind me is my BO as I waddle around, confused, and picking at my face.

Science must really hate me too. My prenatals are not giving me those hard as rock nails and strong thick hair. Instead, my nails peel and break just as much as before, and I have been shedding. I am totally screwed for the PP shed. I have a feeling a just may actually go bald. As it is, I have to clean my brush out after every use now. What is up with that?!

My glow stinks, my nails peel, and I’m already balding. No, I am not one of those pregnant people.

3 Years

M and I have been married for 3 years now. WOW.

I have no idea where the time went, but it flew. Looking back over the last 3 years, it amazes me all we have been through. And that we still are together!

I love M so much. He truly is my best friend. Yes, there are things that drive me crazy about him, but he still loves me despite the things that I do that drive him crazy. He makes me smile even when he isn’t around. He makes me happy and feel loved and complete. Knowing I have him to go home to is the most comforting, best feeling ever.

I love him more after 3 years then I did the day we got married. And I know that as time goes on I will continue to love him more.

The things he does for me and our family is amazing. He always puts us first and sacrifices so much to make sure we are happy and taken care of. I couldn’t ask for a better husband or father for my kids.

Thank you honey for everything. Happy anniversary and here is to many more to come.

Goodbye

I left Miss L for the first time last week. I had a work conference 8 hours away. We left Wednesday afternoon and came home after the conference on Friday, which got us into town Saturday morning at about 2 am. It was one of the hardest things ever!

It is horrible to say, but I am used to leaving Pumpkin. From the beginning he has gone an hour here, an hour there with his dad. And then he started overnight stays and progressed from there. In 19 months though, I have never left Miss L. And I think we are both pretty darn dependent on each other!

I thank technology (FaceTime) for getting me through. I was able to talk to her each day and see her to give her a “kiss” and a hug, which usually resulted in her hanging up on me. I really don’t know if I could have done it without my phone! I was so happy to get home, and even though it was the middle of the night she woke up, told me “hi”, and then snuggled in really close. Ahhh… pure bliss.

Inside and Outside

We had our “20” week US this week. Technically I am 21 weeks, and baby was actually measuring about 22! It was so hard to not find out the gender, I even told M that if he really wanted to know we could, but he said no. Surprised me actually because he does want to know! He must know how much it means to me to not know.

The US was amazing. I think after losing BB3, and knowing this is our last pregnancy, I’m taking it all in a little more. The baby kept putting it’s hands up by it’s face, and we could see it drinking the amniotic fluid. SO. INCREDIBLE. We got some good pictures and even some straight on looking at the face pics. I love them.

Everything looked perfect, but the Dr wants us to get a fetal echo just to make sure there is no repeat of what is wrong with Miss L.

I am getting really excited. Which scares me… When I got really excited about BB3, we lost it. I am enjoying being pregnant this time around because I know how quickly it can be gone, and it won’t be long until the baby is here, and I will never go through this again. So excited to meet this little one :)

Emotional Day

Tuesday was a day of emotions for me.

Pumpkin started kindergarten. He went to preschool last year, but that was for only 3 days a week, and 3 hrs at a time. This is full-time, all day, all week school. I really don’t know how I feel about it still! He is growing so fast, and the world is full of such scary things, and I know that I won’t always be there to hold his hand and help him through. I just have to make sure that he knows that he can always come to me no matter what and I will do whatever I can to make it better.

Tuesday was also the due date for BB3. My heart still aches for our baby. I think about it all the time. It is so crazy to think that I should be holding a newborn right now. I am instead holding a baby in my belly right now, which is amazing and we are so excited about, but it doesn’t take away the pain of the one we lost.