Biopsy

I had a biopsy on the lump in my breast. It was horrible. OMG, sucked so bad.

If you thought labor left you with no dignity, you have never done this. At least in labor you are in so much pain that you don't really care about the fact that your butt cheeks are hanging out and you are pooping on a table in front of a room full of people. With a breast biopsy, you are just laying on a table with your tatas hanging out and a couple people feeling them. So humiliating.

The biopsy itself pretty much sucked too. They numbed my boob and then stuck this long needle into it and into the lump using US to guide it. Even though its numb so you can't feel the pain, you can still feel the pressure, and here the sound. The sick, sick, sound. Makes me cringe thinking about it. The dr would put the needle into the little incision he made, and then jam it deeper, cutting through all the... flesh...? Boob fat? Whatever it is, it sounds so disgusting when the needle slices through it. And he jams it hard! I was surprised the needle didn't pop out the other side!

Once in the lump he takes the sample. The needle makes a "pop" sound that is really loud and startles you. He then pulls the needle out and does it again. And again. And again. He did it a total of 4 times. Maybe 5. I stopped counting after 3 cuz it was making me sick.

They inserted a little clip thing into the lump to be able to spot it on mammogram in the future if the biopsy came back as cancerous, and just for future reference that I had a biopsy there. Even though its metal, its super tiny so it won't set off any metal detectors like at the airport or anything.

Afer 48 hours, they have your results. Although no one bothered to call me. Assholes. I called the place I had it done 4x and my dr once. Finally, after they were closed, a lady decided tracked down a dr to get permission to give me my results. I'm thinking yelling and telling her it was bullshit (yes I actually said that) that no one had called me got her a little more motivated.

Thankfully its not cancer! WOOHOO!!!! But there is some changes in inflammation...? So I guess the dr thinks its a type of mastitis that doesn't respond to antibiotics and he wants me to see the breast specialist to figure out what to do. I have my appt next Tuesday.

I'm so happy and relieved for good results. Unfortunately my MIL had a biopsy done too, and her results were not so good. She was diagnosed with stage 3 invasive ductal carcinoma. She is having a lumpectomy on March 10. So please keep her in your prayers.

Source

Grounds for Divorce

M did the unthinkable.

I got home from work at about 7 AM. M was in the kitchen getting things ready for the day and Pumpkin was being the amazing big brother that he is and was trying to give LL her bottle. Since she was still eating, I decided to go ahead and nurse her before I went to bed. Pumpkin put the bottle with some milk left in it on the counter and I took LL into the living room to nurse. I figured I would leave the bottle for my mom to finish off when she got there if need be since I had pumped not too long before I came home.

M left with Pumpkin and my mom showed up. I told her the bottle was in the kitchen and she could finish feeding LL. When she went in there, it was gone. Correction - it was in the sink... EMPTY. M dumped the rest of my hard earned breast milk down the drain!!!

My pump is not a very good one and it takes it about 45 minutes to almost drain me. It is so frustrating. Not only does it hardly work, it is loud as all get out. Every time I use it I am scared it is going to disturb my patients! So, needless to say, I hate pumping. But I do it, every night, about every 2-3 hours, for an hour, with earplugs in, so that M can feed LL while I am gone. And then he goes and dumps it. I wanted to cry. And scream. And possibly murder him.

It was made pretty darn clear to M tonight when he got home from work that if he EVER dumped breast milk down the drain again, he would be a single man. I don't care if there is only a drop left. That drop probably took a good 10 minutes to get!

I don't think he will ever make the mistake again ;)

Have you had someone dump your milk? Or have you spilled it?

Lumps and Bumps

A few weeks ago a noticed a large lump on the underside of my breast. Having had mastitis 3 times before while breastfeeding Miss L, that was the first thing that popped into my head. I didn't have any flu symptoms though, so I thought maybe clogged duct. I massaged and massaged while LL nursed from the side, but it didn't go away. Fearing it would turn into mastitis I called my dr office and went in.

The NP took one look at it, said it had a fever in it, and was mastitis. She prescribed me some medication to take and off I went. I took the pills and it didn't go away, so when I went in for my 6 wk checkup I asked her about it again.

Not sure what it was, but thinking it might have turned into an abscess, she had me make an appointment to get an US on it. My appt was this last Monday. They did the US, then made me get a mammogram.

Let me just tell you, its 2014, they need to find a better way to take pictures of your boobs than that! I was hitting my face on it, got my hair stuck, had to hold my other boob out of the way. And to top it off, when she squished my boob between the plates, I started to leak milk everywhere! The lady probably thought I was a mess! If you have never had one done, be prepared for complete humiliation.

Source for the Devil machine

Anyways, after my less then graceful mammogram, the dr came to talk to me about my lump. The answer... he has none. He has no idea what it is. He said it doesn't look too dense, but its also not a cyst or abscess. He said they like to go by "text book" and when something looks like the text book that is what they call it. I don't fit in anywhere. Thanks. So to make sure it isn't anything bad, cancer, they are doing a biopsy next Tuesday on it.

I really don't feel too worried about it. I am pretty darn young to get breast cancer, not that its not possible. Plus I have an increased chance of it cuz my maternal aunt had it, and my father has had cancer. I just don't feel like it is cancer, and since it wasn't too dense, I feel ever better about it. I would like to know what it is though! And to fit in somewhere...

Have you ever had a mammogram? Did yours go better than mine?!

Story of My Life

I came across this on Facebook and just had to share, it makes me laugh so hard every time I look at it. And it is sooo the story of my life!

*I wish I had the source to give credit, so if you happen to know it please share!*

OMG I can't stop laughing!!!!!

A Yearly Tradition

Last January Miss L was hospitalized for 9 days with pneumonia and RSV. This February, Miss L was hospitalized with pneumonia. Yep. Again. It seems to be some yearly tradition she is starting.

I took her into her Dr on Friday, January 31 cuz she had a cold that she couldn't seem to kick, was running a fever, and her cough was getting worse. He said she had an ear infection and a sore throat, prescribed her some antibiotic, and we went home. On Sunday night, or I guess Monday morning since it was like 2 AM, her fever hit 103.6, so we went to the ER.

They were able to get her fever under control, but her oxygen levels were only in the 80's. They took an X-ray of her chest and saw some cloudiness in her right lung and some inflammation of the lungs. Although her RSV and flu test came back negative, her oxygen and lungs were enough for them to admit her.

They hooked her up to on IV to administer fluid and medications to help with the cloudiness and inflammation. Throughout the week she needed oxygen, and by Wednesday she had developed pneumonia in both lungs. They continued her meds and continued to monitor her. Wednesday night her heart rate dropped into the 60's and Thursday night it dropped lower yet into the 50's. On Friday they did an EKG to make sure she wasn't developing a heart block. Thank God it came back good. Her heart dr said she could go home as soon, oxygen permitting.

EKG

Spending some time with her sister :)

Walking the halls of the hospital

We were able to finally come home on Saturday February 8! We did have to bring home a nebulizer though so that we could give her home treatments for her pneumonia since she still sounded a little junky. She had a follow-up with her dr on Monday and he said she sounded great! We go back again this Monday to double check that nothing is coming back. I really hope she is still good cuz tonight she started to get a runny nose, low grade fever, and was a little lethargic. Hoping its just a little cold and doesn't develop into anything more again.

Using the nebulizer at home... She's such a trooper

M and I decided that at the beginning of next year we are just going to have a bag packed for the hospital just in case she decides to get pneumonia again!

6 Weeks Later

I haven't written since last year (heehee! I know its only been 6 weeks, but I couldn't pass the opportunity to say that), and a lot has happened!

First I will start with the birth of our little GIRL. Meet Lil' L

LL was born December 29, 2013 at 3:23 PM. She was 7 lbs 8 oz, 19 1/2". We arrived at the hospital at 7 or 8 AM (you would think I could remember!), and had the amniocentesis done. If you aren't familiar with that, they basically stick a long needle through your belly and into the placenta to draw out some amniotic fluid. They watch on US to make sure they don't poke baby, and that you don't start bleeding at the site after. The fluid is sent to the lab to check the maturity of the lungs to make sure they are developed enough to do the induction. Her's were great! At 10 AM the started the Pitocin.

Contractions started right away, but weren't horrible. Every 1/2 hour they turned the Pitocin up to increase the strength, length, and time of them. It didn't take long for them to get strong and painful, but I was powering through it. I played on my phone, tried to watch some football, walked the halls, bounced on the birthing ball, and had M put pressure on my lower back once the back labor started. By about 1:30 I couldn't take it any more. The pain was so intense and because of the Pitocin drip, I wasn't getting any relief between contractions. Anesthesiology was called and I prayed he would hurry cuz I was scared I would deliver SOON! He got there a little after 2, set up, and gave me an intrathecal and epidural at about 2:30/2:45. The epidural was more as a backup, but they figured I would deliver fast enough and wouldn't need it. And they were right! I only had to do 3 or 4 pushes and she was born!

I got really sick after the intrathecal though. I couldn't really breath and felt really weak. They thought that maybe some of the medicine went up instead of all going down like its supposed to, or that it was placed a little high. I had to be on oxygen, and at one point almost passed out. The nurse said I went completely pale, and thought that my blood pressure probably bottomed out. I felt slightly like I was high!

LL had a heartbeat and was breathing when she was born, but was pretty unresponsive. They gave her a little oxygen, and some drug to reserve the effects of the intrathecal just in case she was affected by it also. She still wasn't responding how they wanted her to though, so they took her to NICU, and she stayed there for 24 hours. Her breathing was stable the whole time but she made a lot of noise and effort to breathe, which they couldn't figure out.

I couldn't pee after delivery. I guess it can be a big deal, not sure why though, so they tried everything to get me to go. After 6 hours they came in to give me a catheter, and I finally went! Just in time! I also got a little sick and pale and dizzy at one point, and had to stay in bed for an hour before the nurse would even consider me going back to the NICU to see LL. That was one LONG hour.

We got discharged on the 31st and spent New Years at home as a family :)