The Kicker

My family is huge into football. Papa has been a Green Bay Packer fan since he was 6, so we were raised loving them too. They haven't always done as great as they are doing this year. We have had many years of upsets and heartbreak. So, it was really great watching them win the Super Bowl last year.

Papa popped a bottle of champagne

M and Pumpkin

Papa and me

And they are kicking ass this year! Yesterday's game was a really close one though, almost putting me into early labor. And of course, it came down to the kicker. Had he not missed his field goal earlier in the game, it wouldn't have been so close. It was though, and it came down to him kicking another field goal. If he missed it, then HE would have made the game go into overtime. If he made it though, then HE won the game for us. (He made it!!!!!!!)

This is something that has always baffled me. Why does it come down to the kicker? The whole team played the whole game, making and not making plays, but yet it's always the kicker that gets the pressure of the game. I am feeling like the kicker right now.

M and I "played the game" and got pregnant, and we are still playing the game through this pregnancy, and will continue into parenting. But I am feeling like the kicker, if I fail at my job, then I will be the reason we lose the "game".

OK, that is really confusing! Let me try again! I have been thinking about breastfeeding a lot lately. I am really worried that I won't get a supply in, and won't be able to do my job as a mother in providing nutrition for Peanut. While the team (M and me) played the game together, it comes down to me, the kicker, to win it or lose it. I know that not being able to breastfeed isn't the end of it all, but it feels like a REALLY big thing. If I can't do it, then I feel like I fail and lose at being a mom.

I really sympathize for the kicker on football teams. This pressure is killing me, and I'm afraid that pressure makes it even harder to do the job I am in position for. No one would judge if a linebacker (or M) couldn't make the field goal, but if the kicker (or me) can't, then its a big deal.

Hopefully I can pull through like the Packer's kicker did in yesterday's game. If not, I have to remember it doesn't mean the end of the season. There are lots of games and situations that I will have to, and will, "make the kick".

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Do you ever feel like all the pressure comes down on you as a mother? Do you feel like you are the kicker? Did you actually follow and understand this post?!