Since Father’s Day is coming up, I thought I would tell you a little bit about Pumpkin’s dad, Ex. I will try to keep this short!
Ex and I had known each other since I was in like the 3rd grade. I was actually “friends” with his sister. Our families were pretty good friends and it worked out great when we started dating. We broke up once during the first year, but only for about a week, and then got back together. It was right after our 1-year anniversary that I found out I was pregnant (June), and that is when everything went downhill.
Ex always said that he would never live with a girlfriend, only maybe if they were engaged. Since I was pregnant though, I figured he would want to be around the pregnancy and baby, so I moved into his house (of course it was a mutual decision!). Things were going pretty good, nothing really had changed between us too much at this point. But then his mother (and let me tell you, I think he is still attached by the umbilical cord to his mother), made him propose. Yep, she actually made him. Neither of us wanted to get married, and when he did propose in September, he wanted at least a 2-year engagement. That is when things really started to change.
I think he knew all along what his plan was, and I wish I wouldn’t have been so stupid to not see it too. And I wish I would have listened to my mother when she warned me. But I was naive and hoping for the best.
We started fighting all the time. He didn’t go to dr appointments with me, he didn’t touch my belly, we didn’t talk about the baby hardly at all, he didn’t help me shop for baby stuff, if I ever had problems, he had other things to do than sit at the hospital with me. It sucked. The whole pregnancy sucked. I was depressed, sad, embarrassed, and pretty much miserable the whole time. It was not the joyous occasion that I always envisioned pregnancy would be, or should be. We were both miserable, with each other and the situation, and broke off our engagement (except, due to swelling, I couldn’t get the ring off). A month later Pumpkin was born and things got worse.
Ex changed all the diapers in the hospital for me, but once we got home, it was hell. I. did. everything. He didn’t even get me a Valentine’s Day card, and in fact, got mad at me that night because my parents were over visiting and having dinner. Yep, that was the way he was. When Pumpkin was 6 days old, he kicked us out. His dad came over, helped pack my stuff, and moved me back into my parents’ house.
He would come around occasionally, like when he wanted sex, but other then that, I didn’t see Ex. I couldn’t breast feed because he would show up on a Saturday morning, take Pumpkin for the whole day, and not let me see him or tell me where they were going.
We tried to work things out a little that summer. He told me my parents were pieces of shit, and we had to get away from them, so he had the 3 of us move 4 hours away to town where I knew no one. He got a job, I stayed home. And by home, I mean I wasn’t allowed to leave the house. It was like I was a prisoner and servant for him, and every night Ex would come home, eat dinner, and drink beer.
My dad got cancer that summer. I went home a lot to see him and be with my family during that time. This REALLY made Ex mad, and the last time I came home, I called Ex, we got in a fight (as usual), and I told him I wasn’t coming back. And that was that, sort of.
It took almost 2 ½ years before Ex helped me out financially at all. I lived with my parents, worked, went to school, and raised a baby. It wasn’t ideal, but there was no other way. Ex has tried to make everything really hard on me too. His family stalked me (and I think they still might…), he would call and text horrible things to me, he spread rumors about me, he tried (and still does somewhat) to hurt me in every way possible.
Things are still rough. Ex and I can talk, sometimes, other times, not so much, but I try to make it work for Pumpkin’s sake. There have been times that Pumpkin will come home from Ex’s house and tell me that he doesn’t love me, only his dad. I think Ex tells him things. It hurts, and it is hard, and I feel like I only have ½ a child. Pumpkin spends 3 out of 4 weekends with Ex, so I miss a lot of time with him. It breaks my heart every Saturday that he leaves.
Sorry that this one was so long! Good job if you actually made it through!
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