I hate that my body plays games on my mind. P was due yesterday, and still hasn’t shown. I am 99.99% positive that it will show, I just don’t know when now. I have had all my regular sx (symptoms) that it is coming: bloated for about a week and now bloating is gone, cramps, emotional, cravings for sweets and salt. If it is coming, why can’t it just come?
When it doesn’t show on the day that it is supposed to, I start to get my hopes up. I REALLY hate doing that. The hurt and pain is so much worse when you let yourself get a little excited. I would rather stay pessimistic and expect the bad that I know is going to happen.
M told me last night, after I told him that P was getting off again, that he wants me to go in to the dr and have something done. He wants things to be fixed and good, even if it is just for a little bit. I am still torn though. I think I will make an appt to talk to Dr K and see what she thinks is best and would *hopefully* most likely end in a pregnancy for us.
I’m just down. Why can’t my late P mean that there is going to be no P? Why can’t I just be pregnant already? Why do I, despite all my effort, still get my hopes up when P is not on time? I hate that we can’t conceive like everyone else seems to be able to. I hate that my body plays these stupid games.
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