Good News, Bad News

I have been avoiding writing this post. Maybe because I think that by not writing it, it won't be true, or maybe I just needed to get my emotions under control first. Anyways, here it is.

Our Dr appt last Tuesday (yeah I know, almost a week ago) was filled with good news and bad news. I guess I will give you the good news first, since that is all we were expecting to hear.

I have lost about 3 lbs, which is good! She was also able to find Peanut's heartbeat as soon as she put the doppler on my stomach. It was such a reassuring sound, and so great to find it so fast!

Now the bad news. My high risk HPV is back. The same cancer crap I had a year ago. I have to get another colposcopy done, but they have to wait until I am further in my second trimester as it causes bleeding, cramping, and can put you into preterm labor.

The research I have done on the internet (horrible thing to do!) says that there is a chance that with a vaginal birth, you can pass the HPV onto your baby, who is most likely able to shake the infection on their own. Some dr's won't let you deliver vaginally though because of the chance of passing it on. I have to ask Dr K what her thoughts are on it. M and I don't want to take any chances though. We have gone through enough to get here, so we would much rather have a c-section then risk giving Peanut an infection right off the bat.

This news was really hard to hear, but I think the hardest part is the wait. We have 3 wks in between appts (only 2 more wks to go), then we have to schedule the colposcopy, so more waiting time. Then we wait some more on the results of how advanced it is and what to do from there.

I am lucky to have such a great Dr and nurse though who try to keep me as positive as possible and not stress me. I am also extremely blessed to have such a wonderful husband who takes care of me and is always by my side.