34

Days between my last period and the start of this one. Don't get me wrong, I am not sad that period has started. While M and I aren't using any sort of real protection given the fact that our odds of getting pregnant are pretty darn low, we don't really want another baby right now. But 34 days? What happened to the "normal" 28? I should know better, I am not normal.

Even though I have 2 beautiful children, the sting of my body not working right hurts. The thought that if M and I do decide to have another child we will more than likely face issues again is hard to think about. Already I am not cycling the way a person is supposed to.

You hear so much about infertility before those people have babies, but never about it after. They have their baby, they are complete, and lived happily ever after. I wish. Yes, they finally have their baby, and their family is more complete, and they may live happily ever after, but what about all the in between? The issues that continue to happen? The cycles that never correct themselves? The pain that haunts you day to day? Knowing that more children may be a struggle is possible at all?

No, we are not trying, but this long stretch between periods made me sad. It brought back all those feelings from when we were trying.

Why can't my body just function? Why can't infertility just be cured by having a baby?!