PREpartum Depression

Since Peanut hasn't been born yet, its not postpartum, but prepartum. No, I don't think this is really a true thing, but its the term I am using to describe how I am feeling right now.

Source

According to WebMD, some postpartum depression symptoms are:

• Depressed mood-tearfulness, hopelessness, and feeling empty inside, with or without severe anxiety
• Sleep problems - usually trouble with sleeping, even when your baby is sleeping.
• Extreme fatigue or loss of energy.
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, with no reasonable cause.
• Difficulty concentrating and making decisions.

These are only some of the symptoms, but they are the ones that are pertaining to me right now. I am having anxiety like crazy lately. Some term this as "nesting", but its gotten to the point that it affects my mood! I have almost become depressed because of all the stuff I want to get done, and I am feeling very over-whelmed. The nursery isn't finished (although coming along, more on that later though!). My walls are dirty, my bathrooms are dirty, I need to mop, all the beds need to be washed, the carpet needs to be cleaned, my drawers need to be cleaned out, the movies need to be alphabetized, I need to dust. See? The list goes on and on! I know that its not really necessary to do all these things, but I feel like I MUST. GET. THEM. DONE. I scrubbed the inside of the dishwasher yesterday with a toothbrush. That's how crazy I am getting!

I am also feeling very scared of being "empty" inside. I am loving having Peanut wiggle and move inside me. I am not ready to not have that. Its something that is just between me and Peanut, and I love that we have something of our own. I don't want to loose that. 

Sleep problems are a part of pregnancy, yes I know. My back hurts, my nose is stuffy so I can't breathe, I just can't get comfortable. BUT, I am also having problems sleeping because I lay awake at night with anxiety about the things I need to get done, and about "losing" Peanut. No, I am not really going to lose her, but like I said, I am not ready to not have her in my tummy.

My energy level has dropped like crazy. Which really sucks because of all the things I want to get done. You saw the list, there is no time for lack of energy! 

I have also been feeling guilty lately. I have no idea why. I can't even describe it. I don't know it its just anxiety over everything, or what, but it really sucks!

And lastly, I can't concentrate! Some term this "pregnancy brain", but man, it has gotten bad! My sister D called me the other night, and I could hardly talk to her because I was stirring soup! I don't even need to think about stirring soup, so I should have had no problem talking to D, but I just couldn't concentrate! 

See, I am having postpartum symptoms right now, prepartum! I am hoping that I shake these feelings soon, and get some energy to get some things done. Maybe if I can knock out my to do list, I will feel better, but maybe I need to pick the things that are really important on it first! I think the hardest part I am having is the thought of not having Peanut in my tummy anymore, but I have to keep reminding myself how much better it will be to hold her in my arms. :)

Have you had prepartum symptoms before? What items on my to do list do you think are the most important?!