Terrible 4's

Everyone always says things about "the terrible 2's", but I have to disagree. 2 was easy. 3 got a little harder, but nothing to complain about. But 4? It has been horrible.

I was worried about how L's arrival would affect Pumpkin. I knew that the transition of being the only child, with all the attention, to being the older child with a brand new baby in the house, that needs a lot of attention, would be hard. We have tried our best to make Pumpkin feel special still though. We spend a lot of one-on-one time with him, try to let him do things that only "big kids" get to do (like stay up an extra 15 mins at night), and buy him new toys to play with, but it doesn't seem to be working.

Whether it is the new addition to the family, or just the age he is at, we are having a really hard time. Pumpkin back-talks all the time, raises his voice, tells us what is going to happen, throws major fits, whines, cries, kicks at us, pees his pants and is almost proud of it, the list goes on. We have tried everything we can think of to get him past this, but nothing seems to be working. I'm losing my mind with it, and feel like a horrible mother because I have resorted to sending him to his room constantly. I don't know what else to do anymore. I have tried to talk to him and reason, but he yells at me and kicks. I have taken toys away, but he started to tell me which ones to take. We started a "naughty or nice" jar which we put money in towards a toy when he is nice, and he has to give us some when he is naughty, but he is still too young to grasp the concept of money. I'm out of ideas and nearing the end of my rope.

Source

I actually talked to Ex a little about it, and he said that Pumpkin is doing the same at his house. I don't know to what extent or anything, but at least I know that it is happening at both houses. Ex's wife is also pregnant right now though, so I wonder if it is just all too much for Pumpkin. He is losing attention at both homes now.

Is he acting out to get attention? I can't imagine he is. We spend a lot of time with him at our house. I don't give Miss L any extra attention then necessary. I actually feel bad that I don't get to just sit and talk to her and play with her. I am constantly trying to give Pumpkin attention and make him happy and feel loved.

I feel so bad for him, and just wish I could help him out. I am really sad that he is acting this way, and hoping that it is just a stage he will soon be out of. I am thinking that maybe enrolling him in a daycare for 1 or 2 days a week might be a good idea. It would be a time for him to interact with other kids his age, make "friends", get to do things like crafts and playtime, and have something to look forward to.

4 has been the hardest age so far. I really miss my sweet Pumpkin too, and hope that my little boy returns soon and this angry version of him goes away!

What age has been the hardest for you? Did adding a new member to the family change your other children's behavior? Do you have any suggestions?!