Too Early To Tell

I was on Facebook last night, and a friend of mine started chatting me. He always does, but only says like 2 things normally. Last night he was pretty talkative, so I knew something was up. And I was right.

He asked if I was pregnant. I didn’t respond. Then he thought I was mad at him, so I had to say something. So, I asked where he heard that. He said it was last weekend while he was out, but he couldn’t remember who said it. He also said he was sorry if it made me mad but he thought he would just ask me to find out if it was true. My only response was that I wasn’t mad, but was just wondering who would say that. I never confirmed nor denied the fact that I am pregnant.

It is still too scary for me to tell a bunch of people that I am pregnant. For one thing, it’s early. Something could still go wrong, and the odds are high that it will. I can’t imagine word swirling around town that I am pregnant, then that I lost it. I don’t want that. Another thing is, I have kind of become a private person. I think it has (a lot) to do with the fact that Ex is psycho and stalks me and tries to find out everything about me. But, my life and business is just that, mine. Not anyone else’s, unless I want you to know. I don’t want something happening in my life that is so huge and important to me, be known to people that I don’t care about. This is exciting for me and M, our families, and our close friends. No one else needs to know.

M and I both knew that by telling our close friends that word would spread fast. I didn’t think this fast though, and since we only told a couple people, I am curious as to who said something. I know people talk, but I was kind of hoping that our friends would respect the fact that this could end badly, and not be spreading the word just yet.

I feel kind of rude not wanting people to know, but it really is not their business. And this first trimester is a time for me and M. I don’t want our town talking about us. I want to enjoy every day I get with the little bug, and when I am finally on the safer side of things, then others can enjoy it too. Until then, my lips are sealed. And I wish everyone else’s were too.