The Truth About Parenthood

I'm going to be honest here, so please don't judge. These are some of the things I have found to be true about being a mom, and have done:

1. I think part of the reason I breastfeed is for the 500 extra calories. I'm not ready to give up my sweets just yet
2. I have put a towel down on the bed after my son has peed so I don't have to mess with the sheets until the next day
3. A few times, in defeat, I have sat on the couch and cried
4. Why is it that my children are on opposite sleeping schedules? When one sleeps in, the other is up super early
5. I don't think I own anything that doesn't have a spit up stain on it
6. Poop is no longer gross to me, and that is sad
7. I pick my son's nose more than he does
8. My house is always messy
9. I am perfectly comfortable about going into town to shop in sweats, old T-shirt, no shower or makeup, and my clogs
10. I get frusterated when my kids won't sleep or eat
11. My son is smarter than me
12. I get jealous of how much attention my daughter gets
13. Macaroni and cheese is a perfectly fine dinner, especially if you cut up hot dogs in it
14. Often times I feel like a failure as a mother
15. I have given in to my son just so I don't have to mess with it or listen to him whine
16. I miss peeing in private
17. Pancakes make a great breakfast, lunch, and dinner
18. I miss my pre-baby boobs. And ass, and legs, and stomach...
19. I can't remember the last time I was able to finish a cup of coffee before it went cold and I had to reheat it, twice
20. Sleep is a thing of my dreams, if I'm asleep long enough to have them

I could go on, but I am scared that you all might agree I am a horrible mother! What things have you found true? Or do you do? Am I the only crazy mother out there?!