Breastfeeding

One of my biggest fears was not being able to breastfeed. There is so much pressure on moms to breastfeed, and it didn't work out for me the first time, so I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to this time. And to be honest, if I didn't have some weird obsession with it, I don't think it would have!

Luckily, Miss L had a great latch from the beginning, and an extremely strong suck. I made good colostrum, even more than a lot of people (so they told me), and things were looking good. Then things started to not look so good, literally. I was producing ok amount of milk, enough for her for the time being, but my nipples took a turn for the worse. They told me the first week is the hardest, then they heal and things get better. After the first week, they told me sometimes it takes 2. After 2 they gave me a shield to try. After 2 months, Dr K looked at me like I was crazy for still going at it!

I completely lost the end of one nipple. Not just a crack or little hole or sore spot, but completely gone (I tried to take a pic of it, but it didn't show up very well and I didn't want to get in trouble for posting porn or something). Miss L would feed and pull away and blood would be running down her chin, she was like a cannibal. I felt so horrible, and a little grossed out, but they told me it was ok and the blood doesn't hurt her at all... good to know. It has grown back mostly now, but is still raw and bleeds from time to time. It also still has a hole in the center that hasn't completely grown back. Every once in awhile my toes will curl with pain, but for the most part its better.

The shield has been great. I have been wanting to stop using it lately though, just becuase I think it would be a little easier to be able to feed quickly when we are out rather than having to dig in my diaper bag, get my tupperware container out, and position the shield, then have her latch on. So I tried without it the other day. My sweet daughter, bless her heart, made these little kissy noises and just kind of messed around with the end of my nipple, not really completely taking it. Darling, my boob is the size of you, my areola the size of your face, and the nipple not much smaller, take a mouthful! Her great latch in the beginning was not so great without the shield. I think I may be stuck using it, which is fine, but not what I really wanted.

My milk supply has been less than great too. I have had to take metoclopramide (Reglan) twice to try and help increase it. It did work, while I was taking it, but once I stopped it seemed my milk supply dropped. Maybe I am just to lazy because I didn't stay up and pump all night after her feedings. But I would hope that her constant and long feedings would be enough to keep my milk supply up...? I also eat oatmeal like a crazy person, and am now taking Vit C. I tried fennel and fenugreek, but that made both of us gassy. I may go back to it though if I can't get my supply to stay up.

To all you ladies that have no problems breastfeeding. That have great never ending supplies. Whose baby latches great. Whose nipple didn't fall off. I hate you. Not really, but I am super jealous of you and wish I could do it like you.

Did you have troubles breastfeeding? Or would you one of those ladies that totally rocked it?